Monthly Archives: August 2012

Greatness – You CAN do it! ~ 29 days to go

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Photo courtesy of Lil’ Sprout Memories (Alyssa Francis)

I recently saw a Nike commercial that features sweet Nathan Sorrell of Ohio.  That commercial has been often discussed with all kinds of dissenting and differing opinions.  I will admit that when I saw the commercial for the first time, I cried.  It was a really emotional moment, because I saw a young man who tried.  I saw a young man who didn’t let others define his value or self-worth.  In subsequent weeks, I have seen an interview with Nathan and his mom who have walked through a whirlwind of commentaries – some regarding the ad as genius and others who liken it to child abuse.  In the end, Nathan admitted that his critics only fueled his desire to work-out more.  Good for you, Nathan!  I am sure that run was not easy, but he did it.

His spirit reminded me of another young man who embraced life fully and who never gave up.  I don’t think there was an activity in life that he pursued that he didn’t at least give it a passionate try.  Yesterday, I shared that Reed kept on running.  I am sure it was hard and I am sure that he was pooped, but he did it.  His determination to support a friend kept him going, and he did it.

It was that perseverance that fueled me to wake up one morning and finish the journey that I had started with the boys in January of 2008.  That journey was to complete a triathlon as a team.  Well, the plans changed and I worked for one year to get into shape to do it.  It wasn’t easy.  It was time-consuming. My teammates weren’t able to compete; so my work load tripled. I wasn’t going to set any impressive records. Yet, I worked and worked some more.

One of my personal favorite memories from my triathlon was the surprise I got after completing the swimming and biking to see my family and dear friends waiting to cheer me on.  Sweet little M had made signs.  Many read, “You can do it!”  But the one that caught my heart was written in her best 1st-grade penmanship said, “Can you do it?”  I also doubled-over from laughing so hard.  In reality, I was thinking the same thing, because after a half-mile swim and 17 miles biking, I wasn’t sure I had 5k of running left in my legs.  But with one of my friends (pulling a Reed – running alongside of me), I just kept going, and I did it.

Yes, there are serious and competitive runners at Reed’s Run as it is a certified and sanctioned event.  But we have moms and dads with babies in strollers.  We have grandmas and grandpas who go for a nice fall walk.  We have families that go for an evening stroll.  Whether you come to win or come to walk, in the end both extremes cover the same distance.

The best advice I ever got from one of my college professors (who in this case happened to be my dad) was, “The first key to success is to show up.”  Thank you to all who have showed up in the past; you are the key to our success.  If you are considering this year’s run, I promise – “You CAN do it!” And who knows you just might, “Find Your Greatness” because just like Nathan, we are all capable of it!  I know because your greatness has been a big part of my family’s healing!

Reed’s Run – 30 days to go

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ImageI have never felt the need to do this before, but somehow as the reality that the end is coming soon, I suddenly have a desire to share the “behind the scenes” decisions and reasons for what we do.  I ask that you as you read these posts that you share them if you feel led to do so.

How did this run come about in the first place?  In the wee hours following Reed’s death, a dear friend (who is coming from California to this year’s run) planted the idea that we needed to start a scholarship because Reed LOVED to learn.  We adored the idea, but had no idea how we would fund the thing.  Additionally, we didn’t want to give a small scholarship – we wanted ONE that would make a significant impact in the lives of students.  With that in mind, how in the world were we going to do this?

Throughout this part of our journey, we received cards and letters of support and encouragement from everywhere.  One day, we received one, from another now friend who has walked in our shoes (who will also be at Reed’s Run), that told of the run they do for their son.  We saw their website and were encouraged, but run – seriously – Reed was emphatically NOT a runner.  Golf tournament – art show – Star Wars movie marathon: all seemed more our boy’s style.

About this same a few sweet boys in Reed’s class and on his football team shared stories that our redhead NEVER told us.  I realize we were just beginning our grief journey, and any story was like precious jewels. But these stories opened up our eyes to just how much Reed never tooted his own horn. Apparently during football conditioning, Reed encouraged others when they thought they had nothing left to give.  One story told of how they were laying on the ground doing leg lifts.  The boy next to Reed was about to give up.  Reed told him, “This is going to make us better.  You can do it.”  The boy shared that gave him just enough to keep going.  The second story became the inspiration behind Reed’s Run.

In all honesty, Reed was still in the “husky” stage of life.  If you have boys or men in your life, they know which jeans section I am talking about.  So for 12 years old, he hadn’t outgrown that stage yet.  Additionally, he wasn’t the quickest or best runner by far.  The boys told us of how Reed would run his required laps, but here is where the story gets interesting.  Instead of quitting, he would cut across the field and run alongside the boys who were behind him (I am guessing there weren’t many).  He would run the rest of their required time with them, encouraging them, telling them he wasn’t going to leave them behind.  INCREDULOUS – a kid who didn’t enjoy running – did THAT!  That kid was MY boy!

We confirmed the story with the coaches, who added that it caught on and that others started doing it too.  We knew then how we were going to raise funds for his scholarship.  Last night I saw a video that caused me to sob.  I am including the link below.  I never got to witness Reed’s “Run”, but I have to imagine in a small way it was like this.

Even though we never thought Reed’s Run would become as big as it has, we are glad that we get to share that small piece of our boy with everyone. The world always needs friends who run along side.  Thank you to all the people who continue to do that for us and who give of their time, money, donations, love and support to make this dream (Reed’s Run) a reality.

http://www.godvine.com/The-Inspiring-Story-of-Matt-Woodrum-Can-Bring-Anyone-to-Tears-1990.html

Please note:  We have amazing admiration for the tenacity and spirit of Matt Woodrum and all that he has taught his community, and now, the world.  Apparently, God has placed young men (and women) all over the world to teach us a lot about ourselves.   Thank you Matt for teaching more about what you CAN DO than what the world tells us you can’t. Since Reed’s death, I have learned that, indeed, God can use young men to change the world.

3 Things – 8/13/12

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I have had many things this last two weeks that have brought big smiles to me and my family; so, I’ve had a difficult time choosing how to narrow this down to just three items.  But I think that I have finally figured out which three I want to share.

1.  Revisiting the past – not all things bygone are worth a mention and no, not all of the things I remember growing up would bring a smile.  Think rainbow sweaters that go from sleeve to sleeve or pinning your blue jeans.  But on a road trip with some friends, I came face to face (well sort of) with an old love from my past.  Actually, my old friend was relegated to the top shelf in the convenience store cooler. You know the shelf where store-brand colas, Yoo-hoo’s, and that milk product that doesn’t actually need refrigeration sit.  There among the other “less popular” beverage choices sat a blast from my past – Pop Shoppe sodas.  I was immediately carried back to when my family first left the South and moved to Valley City, North Dakota where you could mix-n-match of case of sodas. Of course, now the pop has its own website www.popshoppe.com, unlike when our friendship began in the early 80’s. If you have a few minutes, check out the website and have yourself a chuckle at the humor found within.  I enjoyed every sip of my root beer thinking back to the days of playing balloon volleyball in the basement for hours on end.  With every memory that came flooding back from those days, my face was carrying a great big smile.

2. Visiting old friends– this is actually a play on words.  Last week I was able to return

Huck

(FINALLY) to my volunteer position at the Minneota Manor (nursing home) with my faithful sidekick, Huckleberry.  Actually, I am the sidekick (because he is much more popular there than I am) as Huck makes his rounds and visits his friends.  I love to see the spring in the old boy’s steps as soon as he sees me get out a bandanna scarf (of which he has quite a collection).  Huck has his favorite people and as soon as we arrive he has to go visit at least one of them. He has always been a special dog, but I think as he gets older he recognizes a kindred spirit when he sees one.  I am glad that Huck takes me along because there is one special grandpa there that has held my heart for a long time.  On his good days (when the dementia isn’t so bad), he recognizes me (or at least, Huck), and then even my heart smiles!

3. Taking a last minute vacation – last Friday, our family took a last minute vacation to go to the zoo and to go back-to-school (shudder) shopping.  We had made a promise to the smallest Stevens to let her see dolphins this summer.  Sadly, we learned that the dolphin bay at the zoo would be closing down soon due to lack of funding.  Nonetheless, we enjoyed the dolphins, but we relished our time with the dinosaurs’ exhibit.  Gladly, the dinosaurs were life-sized recreations that were robotic and somewhat interactive.  All of my kids have taken strolls through the “Land before Time” series, and we have shared a love of dinosaurs for many years.  I am certain this won’t be our last foray with dinosaurs (having dug for mammoths in South Dakota and visited Sue in Chicago’s Field Museum).  Somehow just being together sans technology (thank you Minnesota Zoo for having terrible cell phone coverage) was what this momma’s heart needed.  Watching our little Sally Gal have the same reactions to the dinosaurs that our once little red-head did at a similar dinosaur attraction brought tears to my eyes.  Knowing that that same red-head had to be looking on with pride from Heaven – definitely made me smile!

Whatever it is, BIG or small, find the things that make you smile!  It’s definitely worth it!

Score plus five

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Team Stevens

Just the other night I was out weeding my gardens, and I got to feeling sorry for myself.  I am not typically prone to that particular pastime, but that night I was ruminating over the fact that I am unable to attend my 25 year high school reunion this weekend.  It was a scheduling conflict that simply couldn’t be avoided.  Nonetheless, there I sat among the kohlrabi and the cabbages wishing that I could go and see how much we have all changed.  That thought led me down a different path – one more in line with self-reflection than self-pity.

How have I spent the last 25 years?  What would my classmates see or notice about me now? What would I want to tell them?  I spent quite a few hours among the weeds pondering that question, and thus, once again, God provided me with fodder for another blog.

The more I thought about it, I could give a basic recap of my life in little snippets or I could speak from my heart by sharing that somehow God has allowed my life to mimic the chorus lyrics of my son Reed’s favorite campfire song. (I married into a wonderful Polish/German family that has sing-alongs at every get-together.)  That special song is “Blow up Your TV” sung by John Denver.

Blow up your tv – While we didn’t literally follow this little tidbit, we didn’t choose to have cable television until three years ago.  My kids learned that books were a better adventure, and your imagination can carry you to more exciting places.  Perhaps my insistence on less mind-numbing technology has to do with the fact that I grew up to be an educator.  As my children grow up and go to college though, I am certain they will regale the other co-eds with tales of their mother’s science experiments in the kitchen.

Throw away your paper – To be honest, I still get the daily newspaper.  I enjoy a good crossword puzzle.  Yet using a little creative license with this part of the chorus, I threw away my obsession with “papers, titles, and namebrands”.  At some point over the last 25 years, I learned to be really comfortable in my own skin.  I became less concerned with titles (of which I hold several) and papers on my wall,  because even my dog has those things. Instead, I focused more attention on the relationships God has blessed with me each and every day.

Go to the country –  No creative license here!  Unbeknownst to me at the time, my parents moved me away to North Dakota the day after we graduated from high school.  I went to college there, graduate school at Auburn, but in the end married a sweet boy from ND.  We now live in a prairie town in southwestern Minnesota.  The older I get the more I miss the South and Florida’s beaches, but I wouldn’t trade small town living for anything.  I will confess that I do miss having gentlemen open doors for me, hearing “Yes ma’am” or “No sir”, and having sweet tea be a menu staple.  Yet there is nothing like experiencing all four seasons and raising my children in a town where we know many people by their first names.

Build you a home – By the time I had entered high school, I had probably moved at least 7 times; so roots were not something I had established.  Around 15 years ago, my husband and I bought a modest home in a modest neighborhood.  We were both up and coming in our careers, and the thought was to buy this house as a starter home and then upgrade in a couple years.  Those plans changed when our neighbors convinced us otherwise.  It wasn’t by anything they said, but more so, by what they did.  Sharing garden produce, keeping an eye out for each other’s kids and dogs, pitching in together after severe storms (tornados and blizzards) – these things were just more important than a bigger house in a bigger neighborhood. A tiny house evolved into a home over those years.

Plant a little garden – The highlight of my summer is the garden plot that my family tends. Many hours are spent caring for those plants in hopes of a bountiful harvest.  Yet gardening isn’t the only hobby we have related to food.  We are much more connected to our food than that.  That steak we had last night, we saw earn a blue ribbon last year at the Lyon County Fair. Same goes for the chickens and the eggs.  All came from friends our kids have in the 4-H club or the FFA. The highlight of the fall is when father and sons start the hunting season.  The goose, pheasant, or venison roast for special holidays is typically one that the guys brought home after spending time outdoors together.  While I can’t go to Joe Patty’s for Gulf seafood, I do enjoy fish from Minnesota’s 10,000 lakes.

Had a lotta children – I am guessing for most of my classmates, this will be an understatement.  I am the proud momma of 7 children.  Sadly, four of those children now live with Jesus in heaven.  If there was one defining moment of my life over the last 25 years, this would be it.  I dreamed my whole life of being a momma, and I enjoy the “fruits of my labor” every day.  Yet, losing three of my children as babies and then one of my sons to a tragic school bus crash has changed me in remarkable ways.  I worry less, forgive more, judge less, and give more.  God has shown me that not only can your heart begin to heal, but it can also seek out and love others who are hurting.

Eat a lot of peaches – Right now, it is County Fair time, and my children are busy with projects and showing animals, which in our case are pigeons.  While it is fun to earn ribbons, it is more of a way of life around here.  Yet another ritual begins at this same time as the fair, the peaches arrive and the canning season begins.  Over the course of the next few months, there will seldom be day that the canning jars aren’t lined up ready to go.

Try to find Jesus on your own – We have known Jesus for a very long time, but through the horrific events surrounding the death of our son, Reed, and the injury of two of our other children we saw firsthand that God and His Son are truly among us.  Friends, family, neighbors, and yes, even strangers filled our home and our hearts with love, tokens of remembrance, assistance, shoulders to cry upon, and gifts of time.  But the most important gift was that they prayed for us.  Daily during those dark days we could literally feel those prayers as we were able to just get through minute by minute.  I honestly don’t know how you could survive tragedy without faith, because I know I couldn’t.

I still feel blue that I wasn’t able to join my classmates this weekend for the reunion.  If you haven’t ever heard John Denver’s version of “Blow up Your TV”, take the time to find it. When you listen to it, just know that one content, sweet little, Southern transplant is living and loving well – way up here in Minnesota.  But no matter where you listen, it probably won’t sound near as good as around a crisp North Dakota campfire with four generations of family members singing along.  For that, I am blessed and thankful!

Thanks for the Ride

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Sally Ride
Photo from www.sallyridescience.com

When I was a little girl in school, it became pretty clear that I was interested in subjects that not all the other girls enjoyed.  I was (and still am) enamored with math and science.  Even today, I enjoy a good algebra or chemistry problem.  In fact, the first day of my high school physics class, the teacher announced, “Gentlemen, we are going to have a great year. Ladies (of which there were 3 of us) not a single one of you will be left in this class before the year is over.”  I was just stubborn enough to prove him wrong, even if I stood alone.

Sadly though, my physics experience wouldn’t be the last, and my education up until that point was pretty bereft of exposure to women in what would become my chosen fields of study with the dreams of being a teacher.  The only women scientists I knew were Sally Ride and Christa McAuliffe.  I cried for days when Christa and the other six crew members died in the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster.  Yet her courage, to go where no other teacher had before her, filled my little heart with soaring pride to be not only an American, but also a girl in America. My dream to someday be the “Teacher on the Trail” for the Iditarod stems from her pioneering spirit.

On July 23, 2012, we said good-bye to my other science role model, Sally Ride.  I thought she was the most amazing and fearless woman to walk the earth.  Sharing common interests, tennis and science, I always kept tabs on her career following her 1983 barrier breaking mission as the first woman astronaut.  She inspired me to push farther, to dream bigger, and to never settle for second best.  As an educator, I strive to find resources to expose children – boys and girls – to pioneering role models from whom they can learn.  Sally Ride was that inspirational person for me.

Last week was a crazy one for my family as I made two trips in as many days to take 2 of my children for appointments at the Mayo Clinic.  It is a four hour drive one-way from my house.  At the end of a road-weary and draining Day 2, my daughter asked me why all the flags were flying at half-mast in the town we were driving through.

I replied incorrectly, “Perhaps, it is because Sally Ride died yesterday.”  (I have since learned it was to honor the victims from Aurora, CO.  God bless them every one.)  My daughter had no idea who Dr. Ride was. I shared my story of how Sally Ride (along with Christa McAuliffe) was my role model in a time when women role models were not the norm, especially in the things I loved.  Hearing my enthusiasm and passion, my daughter learned a little bit about what inspired me in future career choices when I was her age.  Her response was priceless, “Wow! Mom, she sounds like an amazing person!”

Whomever Erin chooses to be her inspiration, hopefully she finds someone, like me, who encourages her to hook her dreams to the stars and to enjoy the ride.  So long, Sally – you will truly be missed.