Tag Archives: God’s plans

Be wild and free!

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Dear Erin

Last night, Dad and I went to the store to get the one last piece of your gift for today.  I won’t say that the ceiling of the Wal-mart split open and choirs of angels illuminated the path, but what transpired was about as close to that as possible. Rather than our eyes glossing over after reading every card on the shelf, the very first card was the absolute perfect one.

Needless to say we were stunned that it was perfectly fitting.

We never expected having a daughter to be all ruffles and lace.

Good thing.  Because what we got was DYNAMITE in a dress – when we could get you to wear one.

And when we weren’t praying for your survival, we were glad to see you growing up strong and confident.

From the moment you arrived in the world, you have always traveled your own way.  I think your Dad’s declaration that there would not and I quote, “NOT BE A CLOSET FULL OF PINK DRESSES” the day we you were born was just the start of that fiercely independent streak.  After fighting to live on day one, you have proven to be a tower of strength ever since.

I am going to tell you something that I have never told you before about raising a strong, independent, and in charge girl.  Not everyone appreciates parents who do.  I distinctly remember some friends coming to visit when you were about six months old.  They had a son and a daughter the same ages as Reed and Sawyer.  Life is too short to deal with “friends” who constantly judge your parenting.  After spending the weekend together, we discovered they were raising their children to sit quietly and observe the world, while we were raising explorers and adventurers.  As they packed up to leave and said their good-byes, they just couldn’t leave it alone.  Their parting words were, “Oh good luck to you Erin. You are going to need it!”

We never spoke to them again because I was flabbergasted and shocked and appalled.  Secretly I made a promise to you on that day that you could be as wild and free as you wanted and even though your closet has never been full of dresses that you could become whoever God designed you to be.

There were days when I had to hold my breath.

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That promise meant there were bumps and bruises because you had to experience the world your way.  And while your knees were often skinned up, mine were often on the floor praying God would guide your steps.

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But the funny thing about raising tough-spirited girls is that along the way with all the rough and tumble most develop hearts for injustice and the courage to be the change needed in the world.  More than once, I have seen you speak up when someone has been slighted, overlooked, or left out.  And that takes guts. 

Recently I watched as our whole church was stirred to action because of something God placed on your heart.  Think about that for a moment.  As a teenager, your heart led a ministry to blossom and God blessed us all for it.  Don’t ever diminish the greatness God has in store for you.

I don’t know when I recognized that the promise I made to you all those years ago was playing out in living color.  But one day I realized that you were the embodiment of one of my favorite quotes.

Well-behaved women seldom make history. ~ Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Keep being uniquely you and together with God’s help I know you will make amazing things happen.  Be fierce and courageous, never forgetting that you are made of the incredible stardust that created the stars throughout the heavens.  And just like the nuclear explosions that created their existence, your strength and dignity and faith will change the universe.

Happy 17th Birthday to you, my wild and brave warrior!

Love, Momma

 

 

 

 

Just enjoying the day

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This is not something I am proud to share. But my daily existence has a to-do list that never ends, and my time is often double- and triple-booked.  Rarely do we have a moment that isn’t overscheduled. Yet the last two weekends were ones that had me celebrating the unexpected – the magic of the unscripted.

On Easter afternoon, I called my ninety-one year old grandmother, Mama, for a chat.  She is homebound in Alabama, and I know she doesn’t entertain many visitors.  An aptly timed phone call every week or so, often lifts her spirits.  In our conversation, I shared we had enjoyed our Saturday and the one before it just spending time with some dear friends.

Her voice drifted away as her mind raced back through its years of memories.  We don’t do that anymore, but remember, Shug, we used to do that.  Just enjoy our day.  You know yourself we used to all get together and just enjoy our day.  We’d eat and visit and spend the whole day together. But we don’t do that anymore.

My heart broke at the last line.  She’s right. We don’t do that nearly enough, or in my case, sometimes ever.  I am my own worst enemy when it comes to the busyness of my life.

I say YES when I should say NO. I lead with my plans rather than checking to see if they are God’s. I fill my calendar with requests for my time even when they pull me in directions I didn’t intend to go, and yes, at times that means crazy.

Yet the unexpected time spent with family and friends (who we call family) in recent days have worked like divine spittle removing the scales from my eyes.

Two weekends ago, cousins passing through on a cross-country drive stopped in after spending the night at home of other cousins.  As we sat and visited, the cousins who offered the place to rest pulled up in the driveway.  At first my eyes could not believe it.  What my eyes didn’t believe made my heart burst with excitement. My thoughts swirling around this is going to be the BEST. DAY. EVER! And it was!

Fast forward to this past weekend and my hectic schedule kept me from organizing get-togethers much sooner than I actually did, but traditions are the glue that hold my clan together.  A quick e-mail the day before turned into a day long time dyeing eggs, visiting, and going out to eat.  One big family just enjoying the day and making memories.  I had to hold the tears at bay watching my adopted granddaughter dye eggs, knowing how much Reed would have enjoyed that moment.  He would have loved her.

Our best friends love us despite our busyness, and they have embraced our penchant for eleven minute planning.  You read that correctly, it says 11 minutes not in the eleventh hour.  Our gatherings often begin with a text, phone call, or bumping into each other at the store a few minutes before we plan to do something.  This style was true to form this weekend.  One text created an entire Easter dinner and egg hunt of which we enjoyed every second.  Good food, even better stories, one hand picked family (minus the college students) just enjoying the day.

I often say that God has to slow me down to realize what he is trying to tell me.  More times than not, he has to repeat the message over and over for me to catch on.  Three unexpected times of slowing down with loved ones and a heartfelt, memory-laced, reminder from my Mama were eye-opening experiences which led my heart to focus on the message in our devotion at supper last night.

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How much is the sheer busyness of your life preventing you from living the life God is calling you to live?

The convicting answer was way too much.  God got my attention.  How will he get yours?

As for me, I am hoping to fill my calendar with many more “just enjoying our day”.

 

 

How sweet tea saved the day

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sweet teaFor true followers of this blog, you know that I have been on a roller coaster ride with Mother Nature this spring.  At some points, like during the three day snowstorm in April, she and I were not even on speaking terms.  During one of those days, it became apparent that we were in for the long haul, and our menu was in a rut.  What does a wise and frugal mom do when you have your children home?  You make freezer meals – which roughly translated in kid speak is forced servitude, but nevertheless we had fun.

We did need a few supplies to round out our chosen meals, and I coaxed our newest driver into being my second. (Of course, it didn’t hurt that he is a lineman and could push if we got stuck, and undeniably he scrapes windows so much better than I.)  Before we left, I told him that I needed to get something to make sure we were prepared for our journey to roll-back price land.  He assumed (rather incorrectly) that I needed some cold weather preparedness item.  Pshaw!  Nope! What I went back for was the one thing that always makes my day brighter – iced sweet tea!

I didn’t just grab any glass. Oh no! I needed a Tervis tumbler so that my tea stayed nice and cold.  (I know what you are thinking. A blizzard in April wasn’t cold enough?) The shopping trip was successful, and I was never parched. Years before, I would have been eyed as rather odd carrying a glass of sweet tea through a foot of snow (uphill both ways).  Alright, I’m stretching it on the snow, but not the eyeballing.  I’ve carried Southern-style sweet tea with me for as long as have I owned my own cups, but it wasn’t until Uncle Si that people  stopped thinking it was weird.  It took loveable ol’ Si Robertson of Duck Dynasty and his trusty Tupperware cup and tea pitcher for people to realize that sweet tea isn’t just a beverage – it’s a way of life.

Recently, that sweet tea saved me (and my friend) from making a colossal mistake.  We are in the process of launching a new ministry, and we had decided on a name that we thought would represent our hearts desire (but more importantly God’s plan) for women – to know that they are not alone and that His grace covers every hurt.  We even launched a newsletter featuring that old name.  Then our marketing team said in a kind and gentle way, “Nuh-uh! You do not want to do that. You need something more personal and dynamic.”  Stunned! Where do we go from here?

Divine intervention actually came to me while thinking about that crazy trip to the store in the snowstorm. What is something signature about me?  Right there in that glass of orange pekoe and sucrose was the answer – sweet tea.  Thus, God granted me an epiphany into how amazing grace really is – it’s SWEET!

Amazing grace – how sweet the sound!

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8 (NIV)

Watch in the coming days to see just how good He really is! I promise it will be sweet!

sawyer's flagWhen we first envisioned doing something to fund the Reed Stevens Memorial Scholarship, we never saw an event as big as what Reed’s Run became.  The four runs produced many different results: some expected and others pleasant surprises.  The obvious by-products were a successful fundraising venture and a community event enjoyed by many. Among the unexpected were the blossoming of friendships and the renewal of friendships from long ago.

One of those friendships was rekindled in those early days in the hospital when Sawyer was still in the Intensive Care.  It was something akin to the proverbial blessings that those who have walked through tragedy really have eyes and hearts open enough to see.  The connection was with one of Sawyer’s godmothers.

As the days drew closer to the final run, we realized that we were going to have a house filled with loved ones as well as a few hotel rooms with other loved ones.  For those travelling from far away, we decided to send out an agenda of what we would be offering in the way of entertainment.  After working set-up all day Friday, a break would take place to cheer on Sawyer and the Lakers with a September/October birthday party at the fire pit in Reed’s garden afterwards.

To be honest, we didn’t think many would take us up on the offer for the football game.  To our surprise, there were 15 people that comprised the cheering section for number 74.  One among our group was Sawyer’s little god-brother, S, proudly clad in Laker blue and waving homemade flags emblazoned with Sawyer’s name and school “mascot”. S cheered on the team, and more than once he wondered aloud why the team or coaches weren’t listening to his flag as the score did not reflect his impassioned cheering. Sadly, Sawyer didn’t play for three fourths of the game, and for a while I felt like we had asked these loved ones from Georgia, California, western North Dakota, and Florida to come for nothing.  Then in the final few minutes, Sawyer and the other Junior Varsity guys went in.

All of a sudden an amazing tackle happens, and over the loudspeaker we hear, “Tackle made by Sawyer Stevens.” (This, of course, reads better if you do the loudspeaker echoing voice out loud.)  The Sawyer Stevens entourage cheered exuberantly, but none compared to little S.  He jumped up and down, declaring for all who would listen, “Sawyer listened to my flag. I knew it would work!”  I don’t really care what others would call the play of that game.  For one sophomore player, that was definitely it.

For the trip to the birthday bash, Sawyer rode with his god-family the 30 miles back to Marshall.  Even though I wasn’t there, the story told by his godmother about the trip home was priceless.  Huddled together in the back of the car with their heads touching were two brothers (one in high school and one in elementary) deep in conversation and game playing.

For the one who misses his big brother every day, it was a model example of brotherly love and what used to be.  For the rest of us, it was a reminder that even though the circumstances aren’t what we had planned, God’s vision of family is BIGGER than we could ever imagine.