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9 days: the Christmas letter (the year of upcycled joy)

For the last year, our family chose to participate in the Fellowship of Christian Athletes “One Word” theme to bring us closer to God and to each other. http://www.fca.org/themagazine/just-one-word/#.VI8-W-l0zIU After looking in, looking up, and looking out, we had a family meeting early in the New Year and chose “JOY” to be our theme. As Erin put it best, “I like joy because it has been a long time since that was a word we used regularly.” I will confess that when you choose a word, be prepared for all kinds of spiritual warfare, hoping to tear down the walls of faith being built with God. Many, many tears have fallen. We are still imperfect people with huge holes in our hearts, but we soldier on. There are dark days, moments of despair, but we know the end of the story. Love wins! Shine your light, because love definitely wins!

About the same time we chose our word, a dear friend and I were joking about all the “upcycled” businesses springing up everywhere. Our teasing focused on the fact that we have been up-cyclers our whole lives – giving new life to ordinary and cast-away items. We had no idea how avant garde we had been all these years. While there were unjoyful moments this year, we chose to focus on the joy of God’s blessings in the midst of trials. Becoming much more than a theme, looking for joy became a habit. I found more comfort in the Scriptures and would break into huge smiles when I stumbled upon joy hidden in a verse that I had previously overlooked.

We are not “should-ers”. You know those people who say, “You should do this or that.” We are simply a family who loves God and really tries very hard to love all of God’s people. If your family tries the one word theme, we hope it is as big of a blessing to you as it has been to us. If you don’t, we still love you too! We thank God for your presence in our lives, and we are wishing you a Christmas focused on one present. The babe who came wrapped in swaddling clothes to dwell among us to live knowing he would die. What greater joy could we have than a love that deep?

Here are some highlights of our year!

January was mostly about basketball games. Saturday mornings, Cloie had basketball clinics and the rest of our bleacher time was cheering on the Lakers. Erin started out the season playing B and varsity, and ended the season playing only varsity. Daniel did sneak away from the bleacher seats for the annual cousins’ ice fishing weekend. He had a blast and brought home some great fish.

February is always a bittersweet month. To be honest, we seem to just endure February. We remember our saddest day wishing Reed was still with us, but celebrate the birth of Sawyer, who turned seventeen. Cloie had the honor of singing the National Anthem at both the men’s and women’s SMSU basketball games for Cancer Night.

Top Math Student for Math League!

March held one of my most favorite memories as well as other memorable moments. The kids and I took off for a day for some F.U.N. Totally non-scripted and unplugged, we went to Sioux Falls to just hang out. Because are kids are very involved, we don’t have many moments like these anymore. I snuck in a girls day with Erin and friend to see the NAIA women’s basketball play-offs. Also, one of my blog posts really touched a nerve, and over 25,000 people read it in two days. I conquered my fear of flying travelling to meet my friend, Bug, for a week long cruise. Erin earned her first varsity letter for basketball and earned most improved player.

F.U.N. Day!

Basketball is a big part of Erin’s world.

April began the inundation of college letters. While we were proud of his hard work, we were definitely not ready to start thinking about him going away. As junior parents, we were actively involved in helping plan the After Prom party.

May was the month when our joy was definitely tested. After a great weekend of AAU basketball, Erin was at practice for her second team when she was injured. The results proved to be a partial tear of her ACL, grounding her for a minimum of six months no playing at all. Her goal was to get back to playing by the start of season in November. The junior prom was also this month, and along with all the prayers for Erin we saw one of the most amazing things I have ever witnessed when a relative stranger allowed Sawyer to drive his Corvette to the prom. Daniel and I celebrated our 21^st wedding anniversary. We also snuck in a trip to North Dakota to see our family there. Two college visits also took place.

Sawyer and the most amazing loan ever!

June was the beginning of a whirlwind for us as we finally took the plunge to redo our kitchen and upstairs. Apparently, we hadn’t learned our lesson with the basement remodel a few years ago. Sawyer attended Boys State, walking in the footsteps of his Dad. Father’s Day and Reed’s 19^th birthday were the same day; so, we remembered both together. Erin turned fifteen the next day, and the best present she received was the news that she definitively did not require surgery. The end of the month Daniel and I went away for our first ever motorcycle trip with friends while the kids stayed with our former nanny and her children. Cloie loved every minute of having “cousins” at her house!

Birthday trip to Sioux Falls. Girls with Peep!

This was midway through the great beard experiment of the year!

July snuck up on us as we were focused on all the decisions for the remodel and on trying to squeeze in time together as a family. Cloie was invited to sing the National Anthem for the American Legion baseball team.

August was probably our busiest month yet. First we had the fair, where the kids showed pigeons as well as general exhibits. Erin earned her first ever trip to the State Fair. At the closing of the fair, Sawyer and I flew down South for him to attend the National Flight Academy held at Pensacola Naval Air Station. While he was at camp, I enjoyed visiting with my Mama Cloie and my parents. It was a blast to have my parents all to myself. We concluded our trip with a visit with my Uncle Rendell and a high school friend and his family. When we returned home, he started fall football camp the next day. Two days later, Cloie and I loaded up to go on a girl’s trip to Chicago so she could follow in the footsteps of her big sister going to the American Girl store. We returned home a little earlier than planned for Clo to enter the hometown pageant, where she won the title of Lyon County Queen. After months and months of training, Daniel took and passed on the first try (which is rare) the Business Analyst Professional test. School started, football began, we had to move into our camper due to construction, volleyball began for Cloie, more therapy for Erin, and we ended the month, with a 3 day trip to the cities for me and Erin to attend the State Fair, where she earned a blue ribbon on her homemade laundry soap.

Hamming it up with fair ribbons!

Sawyer’s call name at Flight Academy

Breakfast in Chicago

September was all about construction, construction, and more construction. We put in long hours because we were doing all the work ourselves. Thank goodness a few friends took pity on us in the months that followed by feeding us a few times and pitching in with the painting. The month ended with a trip to replenish cheetahs at Avera McKennan hospital for the Reed Stevens Memorial Legacy program there. The cheetahs are given to the surviving siblings of any child who passes away at the same hospital as Reed did. A Laker football win melted my heart when I snapped a picture of our #74 sandwiched between what were Reed and Jesse’s football numbers on the sidelines.

Best sideline scene ever!

October was another fun filled month of construction. The homecoming dance was the first weekend. Erin was cleared to ease back into playing, but will play with a brace indefinitely. Other weekends were spent taking senior pictures, apple picking, and practicing football and cheerleading for our beloved Pumas. Sawyer once again coached his Special Olympics team at the state tournament. They brought home bronze medals this year. Cloie and I were once again involved in the cheer team. Halloween was spent with our big idea of a created family. There were kids, teenagers, college students galore! Our girls continued our family’s mission to “adopt” college students. Each girl picked a favorite student whom we could not adore more.

November was another whirlwind. More construction and let me tell you, we are wearing thin of the details. Another bittersweet moment as we closed a door on Sawyer’s football career. Another mom and I were on the decorating committee. Our personal goal was to make the banquet one our boys would always remember. I think our hours of planning paid off. The highlight of my evening was when Coach Sawyer awarded a football letter to one of his players. A little hunting trip was sandwiched in for Daniel and the big kids, followed by another college visit for Sawyer. I attended women’s retreat for our church, and then next weekend, Cloie hit the big league, singing the National Anthem for the professional hockey team, Sioux Falls stampede. Basketball officially started for Erin, and she had her first varsity start. We had a wonderful impromptu visit from ND family for a weekend with lots of good food and pinochle. Thanksgiving was spent at home, and it was a beautiful peaceful day.

Hitting the big times! Singing the anthem for the Sioux Falls Stampede!

December has been a peaceful month. Erin and I along with a friend from church directed the children’s Christmas pageant. It was a blast to teach them the true meaning behind Advent. Cloie began travelling basketball and had her first tournament. We took Sawyer to another college visit. He hasn’t officially made his choice yet, but we know he has one school he really loves. That seems to be exactly what all our friends told us to expect. Cloie turned ten the same day as our pageant. We went out for lunch, and then we had a few family friends over for supper. It was a blessing to celebrate all together. We will be home for Christmas, and my parents will come for a few days. Then other friends will come for New Year’s where we will party like Newfoundlanders (where New Year’s is 9:30 our time) with all the little ones!

The Newfoundlanders!

Joy is found when you really look for it. Often for our family it is the little moments where joy shines the brightest. May the JOY of God’s love find you wherever you are today!

May your Christmas be Merry & Bright!

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Photo by Inspired Portrait Photography

This is the first family picture we have taken by a photographer who was not a close family friend because we struggle so much not having Reed in the picture. The empty chair melted our hearts. And if you know me at all, the photographer is now a friend.

I have finally found a few minutes to sit down and write our family’s newsletter. We have gone from one sports season to another, and it seems that we are never too far from the bleacher view of the world. It is a good thing that Santa gave us bleacher seats a few years ago. Recently, I have been teaching 2^nd grade again at a local charter school which has certainly kept me busy. I loved every minute of it. Other than adjunct teaching at the university, I have kept busy with writing, gardening, crafting, and working in my new ministry, Sweet Grace – all things that I love. Following God’s will, my ministry took me all the way to Kentucky to meet new sisters in Christ. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I returned to a long lost love this year, as I took on the position of Cheer Coach for a football team Sawyer coaches. After sewing skirts and a huge breakaway banner, I discovered – once a cheerleader might have some merit.

Daniel is still with the Schwan Food Company, working as an analyst. He enjoys hunting, including the annual trip to Montana for mule deer. He has snuck in some motorcycling, fishing, and volunteering with the Hunter Safety classes. He enjoys a good project, and this year he finished the remodeling of our basement as well as the upstairs bathroom, laying new flooring for Cloie’s room, and building a new fence for the hot tub. However, if our kids are playing somewhere, all that goes on the backburner. Following our kids’ activities is his number one hobby – hands down.

We all loved attending the Nowatzki family reunion, going to the Brookings Children Museum, and our super fun Easter weekend day trip to Sioux Falls. For Reed’s birthday, we went hiking in his favorite state park and made cheetahs for his legacy program at the hospital where he passed. We made a special trip to the Ronald McDonald House to donate stuffed cheetahs and golden retrievers. It was an amazing day to remember and to count our blessings.

Sawyer and Rachel take Brayden (one of Reed's friends to the prom).

Sawyer and Rachel took Brayden (one of Reed’s friends) to the prom.

Sawyer is still our gentle giant. It is rare to meet a kid that isn’t instantly drawn to him. He is now a junior in high school, and he is so active that we seldom see him. He earned letters in Math League and Football this year. He wasn’t able to participate in golf this past spring. (More on that below) He enjoyed attending HOBY Leadership and “med school” camp this summer. He is president of our 4H club, FCA leader, Jazz Band Member, president of the Junior class, and a youth leader for his youth group. If you were to ask him, he would probably list two things as his greatest accomplishments this year. First, he is almost done with reading through the Bible in a year, and second, he led the Pumas (the Special Olympics football team he coaches) to an undefeated season, including a trip to play at the Minnesota Vikings Winter Park. All too soon, we will be making college visits, and he works very hard to stay up on his studies.

Erin is a freshman this year. Playing college basketball is her dream, and she has spent countless hours to work toward that goal. She played on her AAU team last spring in the Twin Cities, where she was nicknamed Super Star by her coach, and spent the summer trying to reach a goal of 20,000 made shots. She did it, and we are seeing all that hard work pay off as she currently plays one half of the B squad and both halves of the varsity game. Erin is a much sought after babysitter, and she has some neighborhood kids who adore her. Aside from basketball, Erin plays first base in softball, is a Student Council Member, Vice-President of the 4H club, and active in youth group & FCA. Daniel is not thrilled that boys have discovered her as more than one of the ball playing chums. Seriously, he doesn’t like it all.

Cloie turned 9 years old a week ago. Where did the time go? I think all of us big people are really struggling to see our baby grow up. Following her big sister’s footsteps, she played basketball last winter and is looking forward to that again in the New Year. She has been drug along to watch her siblings play sports since she was born, but we never realized how much she actually took in. During a game last year, she had her hand in the face of the girl she was guarding. The girl swatted her hand and told her to stop doing that. She responded with “You must not know a lot about basketball because this is how you defend someone.” Her biggest goal is to become a professional singer like her musical idol – Taylor Swift. Erin & I surprised her with a trip to Fargo to see Taylor in concert, which she loved every minute. Currently, she takes piano, ukulele, and voice lessons. Three times, she has sung the National Anthem at our school, and each time received uproarious applause. She is also active in 4H with the big kids, loves all things Lego, and writing her own songs. One of the highlights of her year was having both Grandmas at her house for a few days – at the same time.

I have struggled with writing this newsletter because our year has had some dark patches. Reed’s graduation was this year, and all of us were heartbroken. It was a sadness that loomed over us for months, both before and after the actual commencement. Additionally, Sawyer had surgeries 6, 7, and 8 that were a direct result of his injuries from the bus crash. http://www.ksfy.com/story/23281897/avera-medical-minute-am-using-surgery-to-move-past-tragedy The surgery featured in this news story was the one that kept him from golf. Over the summer, Sawyer contracted mono which led to a late start of the football season for him. Then after years of pursuing some issues Erin has had, we felt like we had been punched in the stomach when we were told that her nose had been broken on the bus which had caused all sorts of problems and exacerbated other ones. At times, it felt as if crisis was the only thing we knew how to do well.

I did the only thing I knew to do which was pray and try to cling as close to God as I knew how. For those who follow this blog, I am sorry that it has been unusually silent. I have spent the time rediscovering what joy really means. I promise I have a lot to share on what God has taught me during this writing sabbatical.

Today’s devotion reminded me of all that I have been working on with God. His gentle ways have shown me that the origin of my joy began on that first Christmas day.

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death, upon them a light has shined. Isaiah 9:2

Yes, we have walked in dark places, but Christmas as foretold by Isaiah, provided an everlasting Light that shines so brightly in our darkness. And guess what? We may have to walk in other dark places, but we will never truly be in the dark alone. THAT is something for which to be truly JOYFUL!

We opened this newsletter with our portraits, but we will close with a couple pictures of the real Team Stevens – the ones who love Jesus and love a good laugh.

Oh yeah – the ones who are really fond of superheroes!

2011 Christmas Newsletter, Part 2

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Erin is now 12 years old and in the 7th grade. She has shot up this year in height and most who haven’t seen her in awhile can hardly believe their eyes. She went from a size 6 shoe to a size 9 in a school year. Erin is involved in Student Council, FCA, Youth Group, FFA, Jazz Band, Southwest Swim Club, Scouts, 4-H, softball, and of course, basketball.

One of the highlights of Erin’s year was to participate in an AAU team that competed in the Twin Cities for about 8 weeks this past spring. She loved every minute of it, and basically, basketball could be her middle name. The second highlight of the year for her was learning to quilt. She has been taking classes, and has really done a nice job, including making some of her Christmas presents. She is an often sought after babysitter, who adores the children that she watches, particularly three neighborhood boys.

Cloie, affectionately known around here as our one and only Sally Gal, will be 7 years old tomorrow. We can hardly believe that can be true. We remember that cold day she came into the world like it was yesterday. She recently told one of Huck’s nursing home friends when she asked her about what it was like to get a puppy long ago, “I have no idea. I was born into his family.”

Cloie is involved in 4-H, Girl Scouts and Southwest Swim Club. Her biggest accomplishment was doing very well in her two events at the Beat the Blizzard swim meet. Her face upon learning she won her heat was priceless! She loves to play with her friends; anything to do with rocks, Barbies, or art; and school. Cloie loves to read! There are so many times that she takes our breath away, because she does so many things just like Reed.

The family vacation was the Nowatzki Family Reunion in Devils Lake, ND followed by a week in Leeds to celebrate the Leeds 125th anniversary. It was a fun seeing so many family and friends all in one place.

Our second biggest event each year is the Lyon County Fair. The kids all did fabulous in their projects: quilting, photography, aerospace, and our family favorite: pigeons. We are exhausted at the end of each day, but the best part of August are the days spent at the fairgrounds getting the pigeons ready. The kids work so hard on their projects throughout the year, and they enjoy earning their ribbons. Some of the best memories of this year’s fair were Sawyer earning Reserved Champion in Showmanship, Cloie earning Grand Champion (3rd year in a row) in Open Class Junior Photography, and Erin earning a blue ribbon for a quilt she made all by herself.

Even though, they are typical preteens and teenagers, a moment at the poultry show will forever be etched in my heart. Sawyer, Erin, and Cloie are the only ones currently showing pigeons. As they went through each class, Sawyer earned Grand champion and Erin earned Reserved. When it came to the last class, Sawyer once again took top honors, but before he did, he turned around and said, “I’m so sorry, Erin. I wanted you to win this one.” Hot and sticky on an August day, I had to work hard to hold the tears back.

We continue to look for God’s blessings in the smallest of pieces of our daily lives. We can find His goodness in the time spent with friends, in the blessed bounty from our gardens, in the chance encounter with a stranger, and in any place we purposely seek Him.

We pray that you and your family are doing the same!

2011 Christmas Newsletter, Part 1

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We can hardly believe that it is that time again! Yes, time to write our annual update of how things are going around Team Stevens headquarters. 2011 has been a relatively good year. It seems that as the kids get older and more involved, spontaneous events don’t just happen as often as we would like.

Daniel and Kandy (along with Pastor Don and Sandy Leclere) struck out for a new venture this year – leading a grief recovery group called GriefShare (www.griefshare.org). It was an amazing experience as we continue to heal ourselves while using the events of our lives to help others move from mourning to joy.

Daniel continues to work at Schwans as an analyst in the Information Services Department. At the beginning of the year, Daniel volunteered with 4-H Shooting sports focusing on Archery. He is still a volunteer with Firearms Safety courses. He and his friends took their annual trip to hunt in Montana, and he returned home with a deer. As soon as the weather becomes nice, he hits the road on his motorcycle and just enjoys the time in the open air. The rest of the time he is busy keeping up with our kids’ schedules and enjoying friends and family.

Kandy: As for me, I have had an interesting year. I continue to teach as an adjunct at SMSU in the spring. Additionally, I keep busy with my blog writing and speaking at Best Life (www.bestlifeministries.com) conferences and substitute teaching when it works with our family’s schedules. This year I purchased a new sewing machine and a refurbished embroidery machine; so my just-for-me time is spent crafting and quilting. My personal goal this year was to complete a triathlon which was a goal that Reed, Sawyer, and I started in January 2008. Last year, I woke up one day and decided to finish that goal. On November 18, two days shy of 42 birthday, I completed 1/2 mile swim, 17 mile bike ride, and 3.1 mile run/walk in 2 hr 37 min. I was so proud of that accomplishment and for being blessed with the best cheering squad in the world!

We hosted our third annual Reed’s Run this year on 9/24 (www.reedsrun.com). For the first time, the weather was absolutely gorgeous. We had a great turn-out and we exceeded our fundraising goal. We have a 5K run, 1K dog walk, and 1K kids run. We still have a flagline honoring veterans, and we had the distinction of having all the major US conflicts represented except for WWII. This year, we honored all the emergency personnel that responded to the bus crash. There is a HUGE silent auction. We had a Bear Factory on-site where kids could make Reed-a-Cheetahs. Then the close of the evening was a luminary service honoring any child who passed away. New this year we recognized 3 loved ones who passed away, but who had been very supportive of us in our darkest hour. Finally, we ended with a showing of the movie “Soul Surfer”. It is exhausting work, but to see all the people who come and remember Reed and support our mission is humbling. Next year will be the last Reed’s Run as we committed to only four years for many reasons. We are working extra hard to make sure that the last run is memorable, because each year the event has grown larger and larger.

HUCK is hired! Through a series of fortunate events, Huck found a way to heal. Once a week, he and I travel to a nursing home to visit residents. We have quite a large group of friends that help both us to remember that serving others is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves. Our faithful friends threw Huck a fabulous 9th birthday party on Dec 7.

Additionally, Huck decided that we should celebrate Reed’s 16th birthday this summer. We hosted a movie night in our backyard, and instead of presents for us or Reed, Huck asked for books. He then turned around and created “Huck’s Heroes” which is a reading program at Mikinaak – a child care center on the Cass Lake Reservation in Northern MN.

Sawyer is really growing up. He is currently in the 9th grade, and he is involved in many different activities in and out of school. He was able to play Junior Varsity and a little bit of Varsity this year in football (despite living in pain every day). He continues to doctor at Mayo for his injuries. He is active in Scouts, 4-H, Math League, Student Council, FCA, Youth Group, FFA, Golf and Student Council. There have been several highlights of his year, but there are two that receive top recognition. Sawyer traveled with his youth group to New Orleans, LA for a missions trip. Granpa Junior was able to drive over and spend a day with him. It was an experience that changed Sawyer’s life forever. He cannot wait to go to the next place God is calling him. His second major highlight is his first ever hunting trip. Sawyer and Daniel traveled to ND for deer season. On the last morning of their trip, Sawyer finally got his deer. He is definitely hooked, and ready to go spend time again with Dad at Uncle Bryan’s farm.