Tag Archives: peace

The Magic of Florida

The Magic of Disney

The Orlando Magic

Those might be the first things that come to mind when seeing the title of today’s blog. While I know quite a bit about the game of basketball, I know zippety-zap other than the existence of the professional basketball team from my home state.

On the former, I still remember my first trip to Disney World. I was older than the park. I was eight, and Disney World was only six years old. It was cold with drizzly rain. We had the park practically to ourselves. In my daddy’s words, “this was back before they had caught on”. Whatever the reason for being one family among the few, we had a great time. Back in those days, you needed coupons for the rides. My mom who is a meticulous saver of memorabilia still has our coupons from that day. When I called my parents to confirm my childhood details matched theirs, my mom shared she still has those coupons. My parents have moved more times than I care to think about since that December 20th date (yep, she recalls the actual date of our attendance), and yet, a piece of our day spent there has survived all the moves. If truth were told, I, too, have a few pieces, Disney World coffee mug and a Bear Country Jamboree patch, from our day. This trip in family lore has lingered on and absolutely could be described as magical. Less because of the theme park, and more due to our family being able to afford to go and enjoy it. At the time, my daddy was a graduate student and assistant coach (neither of which are high paying gigs), and for one day, even if it was less than ideal weather, we treated ourselves. Living life and making memories . . . a true definition of magical.

The hoopsters and the hipsters known as Mickey and Minnie are permanently attached to the moniker “magic”. But for me, my whole definition of the word was transformed at the end of a dock in a marina slip. It was the least likely place in the world to experience true peace, but I wasn’t the only one who found it there.

My sweetie who sadly isn’t always able to vacation with the kids and I laid down the law before we left for Florida for the Boy Wonder’s graduation trip. He sat our party of six down and explained other than boarding the airplane, there would be no, none, zero, zip, zilch, nada, NOT ONE IOTA of stress during this vacation. This was the trip of our dreams and he wasn’t going to allow any of us to sweat the small stuff. To demonstrate he was serious he mock threatened to implement an NCIS reinforcement technique. Despite his size (think football lineman), my sweetie is the gentlest giant among men I know. We were all in giggles when he suggested that any stressing would result in a Leroy Jethro Gibbs head slap. He got his point across although he had no intentions of actually doing it.

He was the leader in the no stress brigade the entire trip. His vision of peace and tranquility came to fruition two minutes (I am not exaggerating here) after we arrived at our beach house. We were unloading some food in the kitchen, when his trained-to-look-for-wildlife eyes zeroed in on a blackish blob in the water behind the property. Curiosity won him over and he went to the dock to check it out. Giddy with excitement because he found what his girl was hoping to find. his discovery held us – all of us – captive all week. Manatees! Not just one or two, but more like six or seven. There were mommas and nursing babies and all other sizes in between. The marina slip despite its mucky appearance must have been a marine mammal smorgasbord, because they were there all week. To say we were captivated would be the understatement of the century.

On the plane down, I told everyone despite growing up in Florida, the one thing I had never seen in the wild was a manatee. Alligators, crocodiles, snakes, sharks, and dolphins, I’ve got them covered, but not manatees. I had even searched for manatee tours, but felt that with Sister on crutches with strict restrictions from the doctor would not enjoy a boat tour at all. We did see some rescued manatees at Sea World, but that really wasn’t what I was hoping to see.

Not the manatees from the dock who were extremely camera shy.  These are the rescued ones from Sea World.

Not the manatees from the dock who were extremely camera shy. These are the rescued ones from Sea World.

The smallest among us at three months old really could take ‘em or leave ‘em (mostly leaving ‘em), but every other member of our party of twelve spent hours at the end of that small dock every day. The rising and lowering tide kept the rhythm of the island as we sat with legs dangling just breathing in God’s majestic beauties. In our tranquil observations, we learned some of their articulations and movements. Even when someone would call for a meal time, those at the water’s edge would wish to linger just a little longer, not wanting to miss one moment.

Inside we had every modern convenience known, and as nice as those were, they didn’t hold a candle to God’s magnificent beach and the manatees in the backyard. We were all mesmerized by their peaceful life below the surface and wishing we could live our lives as freely.

And for one week, we did.

I couldn’t ask for anything more magical than that.

20 days: Peace on Earth

There are days. You know the kind of days when nothing goes right. It seems like on those days my kids ability to get on each other’s last nerve is in perfect form. They have simply used up all their goodness and mercy. I will also tell you that on those days I cry a little. All three of my kids have lost a sibling, and all three have regrets of something they wish they could have said or done differently. On those days when everything is going wrong, I just want to scream, “It’s like you’ve all forgotten what it is like to lose a brother!”

Friday night’s basketball didn’t end the way we wanted in more than one way. The scoreboard truly didn’t reflect what our beloved Lakers are capable of doing, and in the last five minutes of the game, our #32 went down with a buckled knee. Scared and hurt – we watched seven months of hard work recovering from an injury seem to go down the drain. We didn’t know if this was a career ender or just a minor set-back. It currently seems to be the latter.

Early Saturday morning, found our Erin doing exactly the homework the coach had given them in the locker room. She was icing and elevating her knee while watching Huddle and taking notes on the game. Meanwhile upstairs our little Sally Gal was getting dressed to go to her own basketball practice. I didn’t realize that they had received their jerseys already, and I was shocked when she came out ready for team pictures.

Sheepishly, I asked her to turn around because I wanted to see what jersey number she got. The one she requested is not guaranteed. When I saw what number was printed, my throat contained a heart sized lump. I whispered to Clo to go show her sister because she was feeling pretty low, and this might be the thing to turn her morning around.

I could overhear their conversation. “Aww, Cloie did you get to pick your own number?” Her affirmation made another throat in our house suddenly feel a little lumpy. So even if it only lasted for a moment, there was peace on earth at our house.

Both of my #32's!

Both of my #32’s!

22 days: not so silent night

IMG_20131105_144141

One of the lesser publicized facts of a white Christmas in Minnesota (and just about anywhere in the Midwest) is dry air in homes and businesses. For a family riddled with allergies and sinus issues, there are definitely aspects that are not as appealing as idyllic Christmas cards of still, snowy nights. A few days ago, I purchased a humidifier for our upstairs to help with the onset of my seasonal plague of nose bleeds. Don’t get me wrong I am happy that I live in a warm (and draft-free) house on the prairie; yet, I am fully prepared to take counter measures.  I do, however, have to be very careful about which humidifier I choose because one daughter is off-the-charts allergic to mold. So there’s the rub – to find a humidifier that helps moisten the air but doesn’t moisten the air too much!

Perusing through the selections available, I purchased the one that seemed to fit best with the needs that we had. Here were the highlights of the one that made the cut:

  • Provides cool air (I am at an age where hot air is not on my wish list, unless of course, I’m going up in a balloon.)
    • Can provide moistened air to up to three rooms (exactly what I need)
  • 96% mold and bacteria free (due to UV light attachment. Well why not!!!)
    • Lasts for 36 hours (less filling and refilling!)
  • Quiet operation, fan will not interrupt sleep (Bonus!)

While I was gone for the evening, my sweetie unpacked, assembled, filled the water reservoir, and plugged ‘er in. When I got home, he was watching TV in our bedroom by the glow of the UV light sanitizer, which really had the effect of a fish aquarium for ambience. When we shut down the news, I knew we were in for a long night. I will be honest and say the light was mildly annoying (as I like it pitch black to sleep), but “quiet operation” must be industry code language for not as loud as a rock concert but definitely as loud as a jet engine.

Did. Not. Sleep. A. Wink.

As I lay awake, I started thinking about all the other purchases I had been duped by in my life. Nail art kit for kids was disastrous at best. Buns of Steel video in the 80’s could have been better labelled as a torture device. And my personal favorite was the first grill we ever purchased.

One Friday our best friends invited us over because they had bought a new grill and said if you help us put it together, we can all have a cook-out. Whipped it out the box, put the grill on the stand, and fastened two nuts and bolts, and we were cooking with gas. Literally. It was such a great evening we decided we too needed a grill. Off to the store, we found one similar to our friends with the same “Easy to Assemble” sticker on the box. Pork chops purchased, we raced home to assemble our new grill. Thank the good Lord we did not reciprocate the previous day’s plan with our friends. We opened our box to find 273 pieces and a 20 page manual of instructions. It took three days to complete. “Easy to Assemble” – my left toe!

When I returned the humidifier to the store this morning, the customer service lady asked me if it was defective. I explained it worked according to theory, but not according to needs. She could hardly contain her laughter when I blurted I probably would have gotten more sleep if howler monkeys resided in my bedroom. She read the box, gave me a understanding nod, and smacked a “Defective” label on the whole thing.

As I stood there waiting for the money to be returned, I realized how much like the misguided purchases in my past I had allowed my previous Christmas joy to be snatched away by flashy labelling, smoke and mirrors marketing, and shoulda’s (You should do this. Or you should buy that for your kids. You should have this.) I think you get the picture.

It was a pretty convicting moment.

When I pause and truly reflect, my favorite holiday memories are always about the simple things, and yet, I have been fooled more than once into believing I needed more of this or that to create a happy Christmas.

In reality, I don’t need anything more to be happy, and my kids don’t either. Why do I (or anyone else) allow the noise of the world to disrupt my heart’s contentment like crashing cymbals? I think my pledge to be present (even if it is the little moments this advent) is really rubbing off. So even though I have been functioning on no sleep, I have spent most of the day thankful for the realization of all the blessings I have, including the opportunities I have to spend with people I love.

And I am MORE than okay with that knowledge bringing peace to my mind and good will to my soul, especially if  it brings me closer to sweet sounds of a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.

Being still

Photo courtesy of Lil' Sprout Memories

Photo courtesy of Lil’ Sprout Memories

A while back, I posted a blog http://kandynolesstevens.com/2013/09/09/i-cry/.  The blog wasn’t difficult to write, but it was agonizingly hard to post.  The shed tears were real.  More salinated drops fell for some points, especially the ones for my children, than others.  In the end, it was cathartic to write, because in doing so, the “monsters” don’t seem so threatening anymore.  It is as if with each keystroke God allowed me to replace my sadness.  Well, actually it isn’t replacement so much as relinquishment to the foot of his throne.

Why is the writing of such posts a beautiful process while the sharing of them such a challenge?  At times, I feel like a modern-day Jacob wrestling with God.  There are plenty of things that I write that are not published, but this time I had an overwhelming sense God wanted me to share my tears publicly.

I know I cannot circumvent the reality that losing a child is horrifyingly painful.  Add to that raising injured and grieving children, and my pain at times feels like pulling back layers of an onion.  Every time, I shed one layer, there is just another eye-stinging layer below.  I get tired of removing layers. So much so the sharing of them with others becomes less and less interesting to me.   I just don’t feel that broadcasting my pain is valuable other than to show my pain and weakness, not mention my doubts and failures.  What good comes from that?  Where is my purpose?  Is this really God’s plan?

It is a good thing my ways are most definitely NOT God’s ways, because He continues to remind me I couldn’t be more wrong.  As I was writing, “I Cry” I received a call from my sweet friends down in Kentucky.  They went out to dinner and felt something was missing in the gathering.  That something was their “Angel Girl” whom God brought into their lives this summer.  I could “join” them as they passed the phone around the table.  When the phone made it to Miss E, she shared that she didn’t understand why but felt that God wanted me to know that He would be replacing my clothes of despair with a garment of praise.  She had no idea what I was writing at the exact moment my phone rang.  I could barely choke out an audible syllable as her words bathed my soul in God’s love. She (through God’s prompting) gave me the exact words to share in my post.  A message of hope, when in truth, I needed a good reminder.

And if I needed more proof, which I didn’t, God provided it.  Within ten minutes of the blog posting, I received three messages (e-mail, text, and phone call) from dear, dear friends who said through their tears how thankful they were for someone to put into writing what their hearts were holding back.  In only God’s intervention, my words became an anthem for others to be rocked gently by the continued message of hope.  My heart’s desire is to honor God with everything I do.  Slowly He is teaching me that the road to achieving that goal may be filled with bumps and bruises AND the sharing of them with others.

I don’t have to be the poster child for grief.  Yet,  in my most vulnerable moments, He has used my writing to reach out to the souls of others; thereby reclaiming my mess and making it a message.  I never intended for my faith to be on display during our darkest moments, but that very faith that has sustained us.  A life blood filtering from the one who shed his blood.

There has been a long lull between posts.  The silence was not wasted.  In the quiet time since my last post, I have used this time to literally be still, finding peace and rest in the arms of my Savior knowing that He does have a plan for all of this. I pray each and every day that He helps me to see it.

As I have shared in many previous posts, sometimes that message of love and hope for my life comes to me in a song.  This time it came in the melodies of one of my favorite groups:  Sidewalk Prophets.  Their lyrics, like the words from my long-distance friends, touch me like God himself had them written just for me. Awed and humbled, I know if God can use the darkest moment of my life,  He can for you too.  Simply trust – He already has a plan in place.

Pidamaya ye Medayto

photo from www.spicercastle.com

photo from www.spicercastle.com

Recently, my husband and I went away over night for our twentieth wedding anniversary.  I wish that I could tell you it was a get-away that had been planned for a long time.  We talked about doing something, but as the day approached we were up to our eyeballs in busy which explain much about how we live life. Our original plans to go camping were thwarted by the rains of recent days.  Our thoughts for Plans B, C, or D trapped in the recesses of our minds while we dealt with day-to-day routines.

The night before, we were researching options ranging from a trip to the city to a simple dinner out.  Somehow,  we stumbled across a memory of the Spicer Castle Inn.  Taking a chance, we placed a call to learn they did have available rooms.  Perusing through the room choices, we delighted in what we saw – rustic charm – our kind of place.  A quick glance at restaurant’s menu confirmed we had found a retreat where we would be fed, watered, and rested.

Upon arrival, my first thought was peace-filled.  Surrounded by trees on the shores of Green Lake, the inn was buzzing with the sounds of nature only.  Gentle breezes swayed the trees.  Barely audible water lapped at the shore.  Bird song abounded. Walking in, we saw many family treasures as the inn is appointed with pieces from the Spicer and Latham families.  The aroma and warmth from the hearth of the fireplace invited us to relax and remove the chill chasing us from the damp air.  Two aptly placed chairs sat on the enclosed porch beckoned us to sit and reflect while having an incredible view to the lake.

We settled into our room to wait for our dinner reservations.  The first thing I noticed was silence. Complete and utter silence – save for the bird calls outside.

The remainder of the trip was the most romantically tranquil experience.  The food wonderful.   The stay serene.  The breakfast delectable.

As much as I enjoyed those things, the conversation with the grandson of the builder, who is now a great-grandfather himself was captivating.  He reminded me so much of our mutually beloved college chemistry professor I wanted to collect all the moments in my bottle of memories and savor them always.  The elder statesman had me spellbound with stories of his childhood, particularly his tales of being a mischievous lad.  We later held private audience with the gentleman, and it was then we realized how desperately needed this respite.  Gentle souls interwoven in one sacred moment.

A line from an old song played in my head:

You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone

This is exactly what I have been craving:  the joy of unplugging and being caught in the moment.

No agendas. No noise.  No television. No computer. No children (and we seldom do that).  No requests for our time or talents.  No interruptions.

Divinely present.

Much needed manna from heaven filled my soul as I was able to relish these moments with the love of my life.

This retreat was God’s gift of rejuvenation and relaxation – exactly the desires of our dreams.

 

History lesson (Once a teacher always a teacher!):  Spicer Castle Inn was not the original name of the property.  Built by John Spicer, the retreat and farm was named Medayto Cottage for the Dakota name Medayto, representing Green Lake.  After doing some research, I located the female version of Thank You (Pidamaya ye)  in the Dakota language – a beautiful oral language handed down by generation to generation.  I can only imagine the beauty the Dakota people found in the Green Lake/Spicer area all those years ago.