Tag Archives: radio

A ticket to the dance

Today’s start was leisurely and peaceful – two words I would not use to describe most of my mornings.  Our children were out of the house early to volunteer, giving my sweetie and I time to read the paper while the quiche with kale and red peppers was baking.  What a delicious way to start the morning!  We talked about the headlines: the loss of another business in our small town and the recognition of a friend’s dad for forty years of service at the university.  We lamented the former and celebrated the latter.  Eventually, our talk turned to basketball.  Not very surprising in our house as it is March Madness after all.  My husband is a reluctant fan.  He isn’t glued to the results but always wants to see a good match-up.   I, however, watch the games with an eye discerning athleticism and a heart looking for a good story.

Last Thursday was no exception.

It was a busy afternoon for my taxi service, completing carpool duties and driving my own children to appointments.  The entire ride all ears were riveted to the radio for a girls’ basketball semifinal play-off game.  They weren’t from our school, but we wished and cheered, hoping they could pull ahead from a double digit deficit. As the game clock was slowly ticking away, my littlest and I continued on with errands.  The final minutes of the game unfolded. We sat in our van in the beautiful sun . . . outside of the mall.  While she loves playing basketball, her interest started to wane, as she plucked her latest book from her backpack.

At one point, she looked up from her pages and tenderly said, “Momma, are you crying?”.

I assured her worried heart that I was crying happy tears.  When you are nine years old, happy tears are more than just a bit confusing.  An oxymoron in its truest form.

So overjoyed with emotion, my response was one that only muddied the waters more.

For this child I prayed.

The scrunched up nose and tangled eyebrows told me everything. She still didn’t understand.

Remember when we had the cancer game at sister’s basketball. 

Quietly, a yes came forth.

Do you remember whom sister chose to play for?

basketball shoes

Another quiet acknowledgment.

Not that long ago, she was very sick and she was fighting to get better.  When she was so sick, mommy prayed.

I didn’t tell her how for years after the bus crash, I suffered from night terrors.  In those dark moments where silence clung in every crevice of the room, my nights were filled with every worst case scenario my terror-filled imagination could create.  The horror of the immediate and the fear of what more could happen to our family, to my children, were my only thoughts.  I was weary and tired.  Anguish replaced peace-filled slumber.  To drown out the silence, I created noise in my night time routine, until sleep would finally overtake my thoughts.  When we heard about this sweet girl’s diagnosis, my heart hurt for her family because I understood what it felt like to have a child hurt and suffering.  We pray we hear of those hurting universally, but in this case, the hurt came knocking at our door . . . because she was one of “our own”.   As a friend of my children, I am a tiny part of her village.

Rather than allowing my fears to consume me, I changed my night-time routine.  Instead of filling my head with noise, I chose to flood heaven’s gates with prayers.  Whenever I could not sleep, I prayed for her.  While she lay (hopefully) sleeping and fighting the cancer in her body, I prayed for just that – rest for her body, healing for her cells, and peace for her family.  My own nights began to get better, as God and I settled into a routine.  Fitful nights became less frequent for me, but when they did happen, I happily chose to pray for her.  It brought me peace.

In my edited version, I explained to my little girl that even though she wasn’t part of our family, I had spent many, many hours praying for God to heal her.  God doesn’t always answer those prayers in the way we want, but this time, he did.

The joy in her face was priceless . . . “Oh, I get it.  You are crying because you are so happy for her and her team.”

Today, a girl I know, the one for whom I prayed, has a ticket to the dance – the state championship.  Replacing glass slippers with basketball hi-tops, she along with the rest of her team will once again play, with heart and perseverance, hoping to come back as the victors.

What she doesn’t know is someone in the village has been praying for a Cinderella finish . . . for a very long time.

The thing about grief . . . Part 8

from www.aquietsimplelife.com

from www.aquietsimplelife.com

Parental Warning:   I don’t really think that I have a strong following of teenagers or kids, but if someone does read these blogs to kids, please pre-read.  I am sharing something of a somewhat graphic nature today.  It is probably best not to have the kiddos read this one without any discussion.

I truly believe that there is no such thing as coincidence.  Looking back in my life, I see circumstances where there was a person to meet, a challenge to tackle, or a lesson to be learned.  All part of God’s plan for my life’s direction.  Since my actual vision is quite myopic, I can speak as an expert – one who has amazing 20/20 hindsight. It’s just too bad it sometimes takes years to for my vision to become so clear.

Sometimes God uses otherwise innocuous events – a telephone call, a card from a friend, the words in my morning devotional.  On the latter one, I have been known to call friends who have the same devotional just to confirm that they had the same words on their page because it seemed to be written just for me.  God’s wisdom has been revealed to me by really listening to the words spoken by others (even on television on occasion).  At times the airing of songs on the radio seems divinely appointed just for me.

Tonight I have tickets for the Third Day concert.  This was my Christmas present from my earthly love, who will be my date.  In my excitement for the evening, I started thinking about the radio station (Life 96.5) and the band that played a song for my heart in what was possibly one of the darkest hours of my life.

I was transported back to October 2003, when I was four months pregnant with what would have been our fifth pregnancy.  While watching the World Series, I started to feel little cramps, but I felt better after lying down. By Monday at school, I had to step out of my classroom because whatever was going on wasn’t better.  In fact, it was drastically worse. Having gone down this road before, I sadly suspected I was having a miscarriage.

An hour later, our fears were confirmed.  My doctor who understood my wishes for the least amount medical intervention necessary gave me two options: a D&C or go home and wait out the passing of my child from my body.  We chose the latter.  I could have returned to school, but I elected to stay home, not wanting to have this intensely private moment in the “public eye”.  There were no guarantees on time limits.  This waiting could have went on until full-term, and I wasn’t ready to be out in the world with my pain.

To keep my mind busy, I started doing projects around the house, all the while listening to uplifting music.  Every day, I would awaken thinking that today could be the day.  I was scared, terrified really, but I just kept going.  Thursday of that very week, the time came.  I was home alone.  Grief was the deepest crevasse that began to swallow me.

I literally laid on the cold, bathroom tile and sobbed. After some time, I got up off the floor to get a drink of water.  While standing at the kitchen sink, a song I had never heard before came on the radio.  For whatever reason, my spinning head paused long enough to allow the words to penetrate my soul.  I don’t even know how it was possible, but my anguish turned to praise.  From the artists’ words, I knew that the shell of person on the bathroom floor had been loved enough by God for Him to allow his baby to die for me. That same baby loved me enough to go through deeper anguish than my own to be there for me in that tiny little kitchen.

In the period of maybe ten minutes, I went from crumpled on the floor to standing in kitchen with hands held high in praise.  My grief was far from over. I would have to walk through that as well.  The change came, however, from a heart empty and hopeless transformed to hope-filled.

I have included a video of that song below.  The Third Day band members and my “friends” at Life 96.5 have never heard this story, but on one October day that what they do mattered . . . and it still does.

God can use something as small as a song on a radio station to change hearts, I know because I am living proof.