Tag Archives: small town living

Respect *Integrity*Courage*Honor

In a few weeks, our little town will have its annual Crazy Days (which is something akin to a city-wide sidewalk sale). I had never heard of this tradition until my family moved to the Midwest. While the sales are fun to participate in, my personal favorite has always been the kiddie parade. My kiddos have been participating in them since Reed was three years old. Our streak has been a fun one. One year, we had the boys, two neighborhood friends, another friend, and Sister who all wanted to join in the fun. Oh my goodness! Thoughts of “Oh my!” and “How am I ever going to put a theme together for five boys and one tiny girl?” swirled in my head for days.

Cleaning up the toy room one evening, I had an “AHA!” moment. Sitting in the dress up bin were my Papa’s police shirts. My Mama had let me have them because for ethical reasons they could not be donated to a thrift store, should someone have nefarious reasons for purchasing one. Our parade unit would be a tribute to 9/11. Some of the boys were police officers, some were soldiers (uniforms courtesy of my sweetie), and Sister was Lady Liberty!

kiddie parade

I can tell you that even though my Papa enjoyed the festivities from heaven, he was extremely proud. Law enforcement runs deeps in my family. My Papa and both my uncles Gene and Donnie were LEO’s. Growing up with a scanner running in the house was just something that happened on the Noles side of my family.

As the granddaughter and niece of police officers and sheriff’s deputies, Sawyer’s invitation to the graduation of the 56th Training Academy by the Chief of the Minnesota State Highway Patrol was a pinch-me moment. I know to him it was an incredible honor as well. We were escorted to and from the event by the lead investigator from our darkest day, and we have considered him our friend for a very long time. Our journey to the Mariucci Arena coming one day after our Sister’s major knee surgery; so, only Sawyer and I were able to travel to the ceremony.

Our lives first crossed paths in a meaningful way when Trooper L came to our home to interview our children about their accounts of the bus crash. I remember his quiet and understanding nature allowing them to tell their memories of the day. I could not imagine the pain he had to feel collecting the stories of the children whom he had worked to help. He offered his phone number and told us we could contact him anytime. His was the number we called when the friend of Reed had a vision of where Reed’s glasses could be found on the bus. And he was the one who reverently returned the small lens back to us.

Our travel time was filled with lots of stories, the kind of catching up old friends do when they haven’t seen each other in a while. It was a beautiful time, another healing moment ordained by God. There were many poignant moments at the ceremony, each causing tears to pool in my eyes. The first being when we were escorted to our seats. The seats were marked with papers saying “Reserved for Dignitaries”. The Boy Wonder and I exchanged glances. Are we really supposed to sit here? Oh, my goodness! Papa, are you seeing this? There were real dignitaries in attendance, but to the troopers we were more than a young man and his mom. Our neighbors in the next seats were a delegation from the Wisconsin State Troopers who were present on a mission of remembrance and appreciation to this class of graduates for honoring their fallen comrade. Their sorrow was palpable, beating in their hearts under their badges. Watching the families, often multi-generations be a part of the badge ceremony moved me to tears, especially the ones who were repurposing a badge that was once worn by a father, grandfather, or great-grandfather. Just like in my own family, the pride of the profession runs deep. The messages given by the speakers were touching, but each of them gave profound advice – use your training to come home safely. When the Chief gave his address, he ended with the words written by my son. He asked Sawyer to stand and shared who “these dignitaries were”, and said he had struggled with how to end this year’s speech . . . until a letter arrived from a young man from Marshall.

The Chief read these words as the closing of his commencement remarks. He began by saying the cadets had chosen a noble profession: one that truly makes a difference. If they ever doubt that, remember the words of Sawyer.

As the bus lay upside down on the highway, it wasn’t strangers that helped get every child off the bus; it was the heroes of my community. The paramedics, firemen, policemen, and state troopers that I had known as my neighbors and members of my community who came to help me and my class mates in our darkest hour. People, who, to this day, I encounter almost on a daily basis, are real heroes. The frigid Minnesota winter afternoon of the crash, these men and women left the warmth of their families and jobs to come and save many lives, including my own.   They came expecting nothing in return from those who were on the bus. They simply saw the children they had always known who needed their assistance. Even to this day the humility possessed by these local heroes is astounding. Instead of taking pride in the many lives they saved that night, they take pride in how well I and the other children have been able to recover since the crash. I do not believe that you can become a hero by chance or by simply showing up. Heroes are the people who have a desire to help and make a difference and the compassion to truly be there for those in need. A hero is a person who does what it takes to help those in need regardless of the personal risk or cost.

I couldn’t hold the tears back. The pride bursting forth that we were blessed to have this young man in our lives. The joy barely contained because he had come so far and his life was impacting the lives of others. The honor of being invited to an amazing event left me humbled.

In the final oath of office, the newest troopers standing right before us, I bowed my head and asked God to please keep them safe as they work to serve and protect others. We took the time to congratulate each one, and even more tears accompanied by big smiles when several thanked Sawyer for the words of encouragement. I saved my commencement bulletin; so that it would be a visual reminder to pray for them throughout their careers.

As we were leaving swirling in my thoughts were the core values central to the mission of the Minnesota Highway Patrol: respect, integrity, courage, honor, all the things that we have tried to instill in our young man. The same values his Papa and Grandpa Earl lived by are what his Granpa Junior and Dad model every day. I was overcome with emotion. What a day! One I will never forget. Frankly, this was one of the coolest things I have ever done. If I thought that long ago parade would have made my Papa proud, this day would be the pinnacle of all he embodied. In the wind I could almost hear him whisper, “You done good, Gal. You done good.”

MHP graduation

View from the top as we were entering the stadium.

A grandpa’s heart is this big!

I make a small notation in my journal whenever I get an idea for a blog post. Today’s post is one that I have ruminated over for quite some time. Part of my hesitation has been that although my life is my story, I would never intentionally want to hurt someone else – especially not when they are on their own grief journey.

The blog posts that come to fruition are often ones that I have thought about for days, sometimes weeks. Along the way, the words just come together or I receive confirmation (like manna from heaven) that” indeed!” I was meant to write the sentences swirling in my head. Many times my own emotions are enough slow me down before I put pen to paper (or in this case, fingers to keyboard).

This morning after devotions and time spent with God, I checked in on my friends and saw this video. Needless to say, I was moved to tears. And almost as if, God whispered, I knew it was time to share this story.

My last post was a tender story of an adopted grandma and how special she was in my life.  I never really had an adopted grandpa. My children; however, have a different story. If you take anything away from this post, I hope it is this message. Children need loving people in their lives. I am so thankful that some families share (even though to many it would seem unnatural to welcome another family into their own).   My life and the lives of my children have been blessed in countless ways because others made the sacrifice of opening the hearts to love intentionally.

Over the years, this grandpa just sort of assimilated my girls into his life because two of his actual grandchildren are their classmates. His daughter (their mom) has gone from acquaintance to closest confidante. We have had the joy of getting to know them all through our mutual kids’ activities. Many laughs have been shared. But mostly, many hours have been spent watching our kids grow up together.

Due to geographical constraints and the fact that I never finished working on that time travel machine, both sets of my children’s grandparents are not able to attend every concert or ball game. I am so thankful that technology continues to make advancements, because for the first time ever, distance grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins were able to “attend” those milestone events in their own homes via live-streaming.

But back here at home, my kiddos never felt completely neglected, because they soon discovered that a grandpa’s heart has more than enough room to encourage them all. Grandpa G always complimented them after games and concerts, making sure to point out a few things that he liked the best. To them, it has always felt that they had someone extra special in their corner.

Both Grandpa G and Grandma J have had their fair share of helping transport all the kiddos to various things. A natural by-product was for my girls to have special stories of time spent with them. These are their favorite ones.

When Cloie sang the National Anthem at a high school basketball game, there was Grandpa G with tears in his eyes in the stands. She was touched to know that her performance meant that much to him, even if she still thinks that all the applause is because people love America that much.

Over this past winter, there was an incident that touched my heart and solidified confirmation that love extends and overflows from a grandpa’s heart.

After earning her place on the varsity basketball team along with Grandpa G’s granddaughter, Erin, a freshman, made the front page of the sports section with a great shot. Even though the team had a devastating loss the night before, we thought the picture might perk her up. It did . . . until we read the caption, which listed not her name but one of the senior captains instead. It became a joke in our family, but it wasn’t so funny to Grandpa G.

Apparently he called his daughter at work because he was hopping mad. Her version of the story had me both in giggles and tears, because he didn’t really let her get a word in edgewise.

Did you see the paper?

Well, what in the mayo? (Okay, his version was more colorful than mayonnaise.)

I am so mad. Did you see what they did to Erin?

She has worked so hard, and they couldn’t get her blasted name right.

I’m thinking of calling them and letting them know what a horrible job they did.

Horrible, just horrible.

The giggles part came from the fact that my friend thought her dad needed to calm down, and the tears from the fact that someone other than us cared that much.

Usually I am the one who has no problems standing up and sharing at funerals and memorial services, but for some reason, I just couldn’t get the words out the day we remembered Grandpa G. His passing was so unexpected. You would think that I do unexpected well, given our family’s story. But I don’t. Even though, I wanted to share the story of how much that newspaper mix-up meant to me, I didn’t. Losing him was just too big a wound (and we were only bit players in his life).

It is never too late to make a difference in someone’s life. Take the time to be genuine in loving a child. Make time for them. Notice the areas where they excel and encourage them in the ones they don’t. Or take a page from G’s book, and just show up. It matters. It always matters!

To his family – thank you for sharing him with us. If heaven has access to this blog, thank you Grandpa G for always having room enough to love my kids!

Just of few of the girls loved by one special Grandpa!

Just of few of the girls loved by one special Grandpa!

Out here

I live in Minnesota which boasts one major metropolitan area, comprised of many geographically proximal cities.  For the rest of us, we live in what is referred to as “out-state” where the numbers of churches and bars are typically equal and where elevators are not what people ride in to go to another floor.  According to 2012 census data,  5.379 million people live in the Land of 10,000 Lakes and just shy of 3 million of those live in the “Twin Cities”.  For the rest of us not living in the major metro, we are often made to feel . . . well, like chump change.

This phenomenon even happens within my own family.  More than once I have heard, “Why would we want to go to there?”  I have decided that is their loss, not mine as I find these small hamlets some of the best places on earth. But what those “big city” kids don’t know is how deep a little hometown pride can run.

While others might think of us as small beans, we are proud to call our corner of the world – home. We know our neighbors, their kids, and even their pets by name.  Heck, we even know whose crockpot is whose at the church dinners. We watch out for each other’s houses, gather for coffee on a regular basis, share garden produce, complain about the weather and the roads, sometimes both at the same time, and create our own fun.  As for that garden produce, I’m not sure if loading someone’s car with extra squashes from overly abundant zucchini vines counts as fun, or just plain shameful.

We celebrate where we are today and the places of our ancestral homes. We know the origins of the first settlers in every town and village.  We can be Irish or Norwegian and still celebrate the joy of aebleskivers with the Danes, tickle our taste buds with polska kielbasa with Poles, or enjoy the meatball supper with the Swedes.  Vestiges remain of the divisions along denominational lines, but as time will do, the focus on our faith differences have seemed to lessen as the years passed on.

While those things are all fine and dandy, nothing compares to the heart and soul of small town living in America where we take care of our own. Few things bring us closer than two that are disparately different – tragedy and sports.

I will never forget the words of the Red Cross worker who finally tracked us down in the hospital the night of the bus crash while our son was undergoing surgeries.  “As soon as I heard where you were from, I knew every crockpot in Cottonwood would be on tomorrow.”

More prophetic words have never been spoken.  That’s what we do when the going gets tough: we feed each other – not just our physical bodies, but also our spirits.  We cry, we laugh, we hug, and together, we pick up the pieces.  And when the crockpots are quietly simmering away, we crank up the ovens and we bake.  We watch legions of little old men dutifully carry Tupperware containers of baked goods to churches and schools.  In our case, it was thousands of cupcakes made with love by friends and strangers.

Over the weekend, we have learned of deaths of young men in two different small towns close to us.  For those who walked the journey with us, we remembered the horror of our own losses, how it shook us to our core, and we reached out.  We prayed, we offered help as others did for us, and we told them the one thing they most desperately needed to hear – you will make it through.  It won’t be easy, but you will survive because that is what will bring honor to lives gone much too soon.  Most importantly, we promised (and we meant it), your children’s lives will not be forgotten.

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Out here in out-state, our children are the best product we produce.  They are the ones that keep the small town hopes and dreams alive.  Quite literally, they are our future. No matter what town you hang your hat, it hurts us all when we lose one, and we mourn missing out on how they would have impacted the world.

Because they are the best we have to the offer, their activities are the ties that bind the fabric of our lives.  We cheer, we congratulate, we give pats on the back, and we smile when we say, “We’ll get ‘em next time” because we sincerely believe they will.  Even though we watched every minute of the game as well the pre- and post-game festivities, we can’t wait to open the local paper (whether it comes out each day or as in most cases, on Wednesdays only). We read about the amazing pass and touchdown run or the incredible buzzer beater shot. Then in every gathering spot, that moment is replayed – countless times.  Those are the glory days!

Of course, we have our favorite teams and colors to root behind, but even those lines can blur together on occasion.   Don’t get me wrong! If you were to ask a local about their favorite team, a common response would be, “I cheer for the (insert local team) and for anybody playing our number one rival.”  “Be True to Your School” isn’t just a Beach Boys song around these parts. It is our battle cry, our marching orders until . . . our children get knocked out of the playoffs and the season comes to an end.

This is where the allegiances reshape and temporary alliances form based on general common sense.  We cheer for whatever team are the opponents of who knocked our kids out of the tournament, and then when one victor emerges, we cheer them on. There are some basic loopholes we agree to accept: cheering on a co-worker’s child, rooting for the team whose coach lost their child, and supporting your own children’s friends no matter what school they attend.  It’s true what they say about sports and crazy parents, but the corollary is also true. Crazy sports fans produce amazing relationships.  Our children have formed lifelong friendships (and by extension so, too, do the parents) through various activities.

One universal truth appears in the unwritten code among all of us out here in the forgotten fields and dusty small towns.  No matter what – if our children or any neighboring town’s children make it to the “dance”, we will cheer like crazy and wish them the best. Collectively our hearts break when it doesn’t end the way we wanted.

I am not a betting girl, but if I were, I would put my money down on the kids who come from the towns that may, or may not, have a stoplight; the same towns that close up shop for the state tournament because it matters that much.  I would wager that all their parents will be just fine too – whether facing hardship or glory.

We are spirited.  We are resilient.  We remember what matters.

We are small town, but never small in heart and soul.

We take care of our own.

That, my friends, is a blessing beyond measure.

Everyone needs a corner station

Today marks the end of an era in my neighborhood, and I am not happy about it.  We have lived in this town for a little under seventeen years, and this has been my gas station all through that time.  Len’s Southside has been the place where I began to go out of necessity.  Who wants to pump gas in the middle of one of the worst winters on record with a precocious toddler on her hip while being 8 months pregnant?  I know of no woman who would say yes to that scenario.

Convenience. I admit it.  My “relationship” with the father and son dynamic duo began as a mutually beneficial one.  I needed gas, and they needed customers.  Over the years however that relationship changed.  It really had very little to do on my part (or the other beloved customers’ parts either).  It was the way these gentle men put service into service station.

When you came to the corner of Greeley and West College Drive, you came home.  Everyone was treated that way.  The last full service station in our town was the place to come to fill more than just your tank. Over the years, we have swapped fishing and hunting tales.  It is Minnesota after all; so, of course, we talked about the weather.  We have chatted about school, sports, and pigeons.  The elder was so excited to learn that we raise them; because back in the day, he did too.

On more than one occasion, my husband has accused me of frequenting the station because I like to “flirt” with older men.   But as he watched our “relationship” evolve, he began to refer to Len and Jeff as my dad and brother.  No one chuckled more than my sweetie when I came home after buying a scooter and told of how my “family” at the station had chided me at least seven times “to just be careful on that thing”.

Of course, the brotherly and fatherly “interference” didn’t stop there because I do have a tendency to push ‘er to the limit on remembering to fill up.  More than once I coasted in on fumes, guided along by angels’ wings and several prayers – mine.  Len would always just smile the knowing smile, and Jeff would slip in a “Well you sure went a little far this time”.

When tragedy struck both families in different ways, our bond was forever solidified.  We prayed for each other through the loss of a son and mother battling (and winning) with cancer.  Hearing updates on her progress often brought me to tears, as I can only imagine watching my heart break did to theirs.

Gardening was another love we shared.  When “Mom” wasn’t able to tend a garden during treatments, I would send my kiddos on a cycling mission to pedal the bounty from our garden down to the station.  Today the last day of the shop being open, I couldn’t help myself;  I just had to bring them a basket of love.

Two of the finest gentlemen you will ever meet!

Two of the finest gentlemen you will ever meet!

I filled up my old van yesterday because, honestly, I am not the only one who will miss them, and I was afraid that they might run out of gas before today.  There was a beautiful sign up in front thanking the family for 44 years of service.  My littlest and I enjoyed cookies and lemonade on a sweltering day.  She enjoyed the treats, while I reminisced about all the memories we have shared.

When they showed me the proclamation, from the mayor, which was ceremoniously bestowed  earlier that morning, I started to cry.  Tears of sadness – for the loss of tradition of serving others that truly made a mom and pop gas station a place of refuge.  Tears of joy – for living in a town that took the time to recognize two of the sweetest men you could ever meet.  Tears of pride – for two men who just feel like family, knowing in my heart that gentlemen like that are treasures indeed!

Good luck on your next adventure! You will be missed!

One tired momma and lots of fun!

All Rights Reserved Lil'Sprout Memories Photography

All Rights Reserved Lil’Sprout Memories Photography

Compared to where I grew up, I live in a small town.  Right here I feel like I should insert a perennial Hee- Haw favorite.  Marshall, MN – population 13,700 – SALUTE! More than once, comments have been made to our family with noses turned up, “What do you do for fun there?”

The truthful answer is we make our own.  We spend time with friends doing all sorts of things, but nine times out of ten our fun has some food component.  My favorite plans (and meals) are the ones that get put together about eleven minutes before they happen.  It might be a chance meeting in the grocery store and then – Voila! – we have the makings of an impromptu party.

I relish small town living, and for me, personally, the only major drawback is the missed opportunities involving food, particularly fine dining. Another even smaller town restaurant had coursed meals for years, but the chef moved away, much to my broken heart.  We loved driving down and enjoying a relaxing evening among friends and strangers alike.  But those glory days are now done.

Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to put my love of food – cooking, eating, and fine dining – to good use.  The result was an eight coursed meal for two special young people in my life for their first prom.  I posted a few comments on Facebook about my busy day, which elicited quite a few inquiries as to what I was doing.  So, I am using today’s blog to tell a story of food, but it is more so a story of two families who created their own fun for one afternoon.

All courses were homemade, except for the bread (which I simply just ran out of time) and cheese (but reassured I do know the cows).

Course One –lemon sorbet

course 1

Course Two – fresh fruit bowl

course 2

Course Three – bacon wrapped scallops

course 4

Course Four – strawberry gazpacho

course 3

Course Five – baby lettuce, pecans, red onions, feta cheese with homemade lemon balm/basil/blueberry vinaigrette

course 5

Course Six – Assorted cheeses, bread, dipping oil with pesto

course 6

Course Seven – Grilled T-bone steaks with steamed purple and gold potatoes served with steamed yellow and green summer squash with dill and sea salt.

course 7

Course Eight – Mini-cheesecakes with fresh berries

course 8

In the end, the sun was shining, the prom goers and staff (parents and siblings) were well fed, and many laughs ensued.  So what do we do for fun in a small town?  You never can tell what we come up with next!