Tag Archives: Southern hospitality

Taking a deep breath

Growing up, our family did two things almost without fail. Both followed other anchors in my life, as if that was that natural order in our home.  Following basketball games, we often went out with other coaches’ and team members’ families for dessert.  My standard order was hot fudge cake at Shoney’s.  That succulent tower of chocolate cake, ice cream, fudge and whipping cream is still my all-time favorite dessert. The second thing we did rather dependably followed Sunday morning services.  We went to eat at a local restaurant, known as The Varsity.  Growing up, I didn’t much appreciate this second one, because I wanted to go eat at some hip cool fast-food restaurant rather one that served good ol’ Southern cooking.  At that time in my life, I wanted to venture on the edge of dining, and not be stuck in deeply entrenched ruts. Right now (older and wiser), I wish The Varsity was still open, and I could force (I mean, take) my kids to eat there.

There are several things that I vividly remember about both of those old hang outs.  First and foremost, each time we went there I was surrounded by people who loved Jesus (and who loved us).  I don’t know that I can adequately describe that feeling.  Growing up the way I did, there is just something about Southern people who love Jesus.  They have an air to them – full of life, hearty talks, and bellies full from all the tables piled with food. It’s true what the Bible says about Christians having an aroma.  Then and now, my soul senses want to soak up every molecule.   Another thing that defines those memories is the ease of Southern hospitality.  I miss “Yes ma’am’s” and “No sir’s”, and I really miss being called, “Shug or Honey” by just about everyone, including the waitress.  Formal rituals dot every rhythm of society in those memories, but yet those rhythms come with ease.  Finally laughter punctuates every memory. Next to salvation and creation, I think laughter was one of God’s finest masterpieces.

The flavor of my childhood is not something I experience often these days.  It’s not that I live among heathens who also happen to be curmudgeons.  Quite the opposite, I live among wonderfully vibrant and caring people (who also love Jesus and who love to laugh), but that Southern hospitality (and sometimes craziness) is seldom found in my neck of the woods.

Following my talk to the sweetest bunch of Sunday school ladies ever, a group of us decided to high tail it over to the Cracker Barrel for lunch.  There were six of us at our table, but seated at the table directly behind us were fellow worshippers from that morning.  We created such ruckus at our table that one gentleman from the other asked if he could be re-seated  . . . with us . . . because we were having too much fun.  His proclamation reminded me so much of some of Granddaddy’s friends that I wanted to jump up and hug him.

I shared both laughter and tears with sweet Miss C. Love her!

I shared both laughter and tears with sweet Miss C. Love her!

I’ve eaten at Cracker Barrels from Florida to South Dakota, but that day surrounded by new sisters is one I will remember.  A biscuit is a biscuit no matter where you eat it; so, it wasn’t the food that made the lunch memorable.  It was the essence. There were stories swapped, tears shed both in laughter and in awe of God’s amazing grace in trials of life. There were hands held and prayers shared.

Somewhere in that crowded restaurant, God reminded me that the things longed for  aren’t always  that far away because I took a deep breath and inhaled the precious air of my childhood.

Not at my table

Twice on my trip to Kentucky, I was invited to dine at the home of one of the most adorable Sunday school teachers.  Cloaked inside her petite exterior is one of the biggest hearts I have ever met. A heart that has been equipped with the gift of hospitality which made my own heart do flipper-de-loos each time I crossed the steps into her adorable cottage style home.

Lovingly known as “Miss E” to some, she has a personality that draws near.  (On a side note, she is a teacher (not just on Sundays), and I have long been drawn to other lovers of learning.) Her humble home just exudes “Come on in. Sit a spell. And the proverbial Southern favorite, “Y’all eaten yet?”.

On that last one, she didn’t have to ask because we were invited there for that very reason.  Well, that and of course, good old-fashioned girl time.  One night we even had dinner and a movie – a chick flick with pizza and tissues.  All girls will get that combination.

Clearly a proud momma, her decor consisted of artwork done by her very talented children.  Rooms filled with a delightful mix of family heirlooms and inviting, cushioning chairs beckoned my soul to slow down and relax.  All of it beautiful without being showy.

But there was something present that the eye could not see, but the spirit could certainly feel.  This home – this communion of souls – was filled with the grace that only can be found when God’s love is present.

One moment will be forever etched in my memory.  For our first dinner it was requested that we bring our own beverages to accompany the meal.  Grabbing our favorite drinks – a Coke in a bottle and McD’s sweet tea in the Styrofoam cup – we happily arrived feeling we were allowed to add something to the evening’s experience.

As we gathered at the table, Miss E informed us that we could place our beverages in the goblets already on the table.  One among us protested that wasn’t necessary.  In a gentle but firm reply, we were informed that at her home we WOULD NOT be using those containers.

As my Mama would say, “We are not common people”.  That old saying was fitting here. We were not just guests. No! We were beloved sisters in Christ – blessed with the gift of friendship.

Looking back, I realized that someday that’s how it will be at Jesus’ table.  Imagine it! He will want only the best setting  for his girls.  All the junk (rage, bitterness, fear, worry, doubt) we allow into our lives really doesn’t belong at His table anyway.  I don’t think Jesus cares about the quality of the china, but he does cars about the way we approach the table. It is the effort that we give to each other through his grace that matters. If that (like Miss E’s glasses) is how we come together, then the dining will be divinely appointed!

Not so long ago at the table of one sweet lady, I was served with Southern hospitality and dined, grace-filled, like royalty.

Comforted to know I really am, and thankful to have been reminded.

 

Miss E and I waiting for my train to arrive

Miss E and I waiting for my train to arrive