Tag Archives: story

Dear Miss Nelle

Dear Miss Nelle –

I never had the honor of meeting you, and I hope you wouldn’t mind me greeting you so informally. Your story and mine are intertwined in ways many would not have imagined possible.

Years ago my dad shared how your then two year old book, To Kill A Mockingbird, was assigned reading in his sophomore year of high school. He still chuckles over how this played out among his rural Alabama country school mates. The movie version had just been released and most of his classmates went to see the movie, featuring the dreamy Gregory Peck, rather than read the book. I know you have left us now, but something in me wants to apologize for their youthfulness. I like to believe you would have been proud of my Daddy, because he chose to write his report chronicling the differences between the book and the movie script. My now college son laughs at how that must have gone over in class of twelve. I have read of your admiration for your father, similarly my apple doesn’t fall far. My Dad is my hero, and his love of learning is embedded and encoded in every fiber of my being. We are both educators now, and perhaps his book report was a gift to the Beauregard School teacher.

Loving your words is just one small example of paths crossing. Imagine my sophomoric shock when I discovered as a teenager the place where we had travelled all our lives for Back-to-School clothes was your hometown. Every year we would drive to Monroeville to stretch the dollars of a teacher’s salary to buy jeans and other items at the Vanity Fair outlet. Those were the days of family outings as often three generations of my family would spend a day perusing the aisles of denim dungarees (as my Granddaddy called them) and various unmentionables. Looking back now, I am guessing I was walking on hallowed ground where most likely you had once trod.

Although he never reached high school, I passed on the love of Scout and Jem and Boo to my oldest child. He spent the summer before seventh grade reading what I lovingly called the “classics”. After reading the stories, we would watch the film versions. He agreed with his grandfather’s assessment years before -the book and his imagination won out.

There have been many other moments woven into the fabric of my life – a family vacation to visit the your hometown, the reading of Truman Capote’s classic and wondering about all the ways you helped him research, naming one of the family dog’s Scout (though I don’t know if that would make you proud or cringe), and gifting my Daddy the opportunity to play a juror in the stage play (which he claims was the gift of a lifetime). All moments in dedication and honor of someone who probably never wanted all the acclaim given her.

To someone who has been a fan of yours from the first chapter, riveted by the words of your story. I couldn’t believe my ears as I sat at home on my darkest day – the anniversary of the day my son died. Much like your private retreat from the spotlight, on that day I always seek the sanctity of somewhere safe with someone good. As I was reflecting on the day, snuggled tight with my tears and memories, I heard the newscast which caused me to shed a few more tears. The anchor announced the world was saying good-bye to Nelle Harper Lee. The world didn’t notice but I certainly did – a favorite author and my favorite reader share a heaven’s anniversary date.

My heart broke and was comforted at the same time – such is the dichotomous nature of grief. I can only imagine if my red-headed wonder has run into you in heaven he will have about a million and a half questions. My best advice would be to grab a couple RC Cola’s and settle in for a great conversation. Maybe – just maybe – he will save a few for me when I get there. And if you don’t mind, I would sure love to hug your neck when I do.

May your days now be filled with peace and thank you, Miss Nelle, for the memories.

 

 

 

A letter to Reed

Dear Reed – About this time seventeen years ago, I was finally holding you in my arms after 14 hours of pretty hard labor.  But at that moment,  I didn’t remember one single bit of the pain, because my dream of being a momma was finally achieved and your story began.

The nurse wheeled you and the lady’s in the next room baby down to us. Suddenly, the other baby’s 3-year-old sister popped her head out of the room and said, “That’s my new baby brother.”  The nurse responded with a simple nod and a “yes”.  “What’s that baby’s name?”  The nurse replied, “Reed”, at which the little girl put her hands on her hips and said, “But I can’t read!”  Instead of chuckling, I panicked.  What had we done!  Because Reed is a family name, it never occurred to me that it was also a homophone.  But it was too late to we had already made it official.  And to the little girl, she only knew that your name was written on the bassinet and she didn’t know her letters yet to “read”.

Right up until the 11th hour, we were going to name you Jackson Theodore (after my favorite movie character and president), but over Mother’s Day we changed our minds.  Reed Daniel just seemed fitting.  We spent hours pouring over baby name books and dissecting the meanings.  Even though we weren’t enamored with the meaning of Reed (red-haired), we still stuck with our hearts and named you after your Grandpa Jr and Papa.

When the nurse wheeled you in and I got to see the cleaned up version of you, I laughed out loud because under that miniscule knitted cap were the tiniest red curls I had ever seen.  It was then that I knew definitively that God has a healthy sense of humor.  He took my fears and washed them away by making the earthly meaning of your name a part of your DNA.

It was a reminder to me that He knew your name the moment you were formed and He knew that your adorable red hair would always be a part of your identity.

There are so many things that God knew would be a part of your story, and looking back, we wish we could have known how little time we would have to help write that story.  As for the rest of us, we continue to pen the story of our hearts missing you and facing (albeit not bravely or not composed) all those firsts without you.

God knew and so did we that you loved learning, but we were all shocked when you announced on New Year’s Day of 2007 that you would be attending Yale University.  So when your first private college application arrived over Christmas last year, I was totally unprepared and I lost it.  We guessed these things would happen, but I just wasn’t ready for it.  Desperately, I wanted to sit down and say, “Reed, I know it’s not Yale, but what do you think about this one?” Thankfully, the story of your love of learning carries on in your scholarship.

The same thing happened when I went to the school on a Sunday night with Sawyer and saw 9 of your classmates’ parents filtering out of the building.  I knew immediately – junior class parents all together meant a prom meeting.  They didn’t see me, but I pulled over and bawled and bawled.  I wanted to help you pick out a tux, pick flowers for your girl, and make a real Southern feast for your first prom.  But instead of popular tunes, your music was the sound of prairie grass waving in a North Dakota field.

I know I am not the only one who misses you.  In the past year, we have all had our ups and downs.  Daddy just has never been the same.  He misses you with every fiber of his being.  Sawyer changed his mind on you doing the hunting and him being the chef.  He went to see you in North Dakota and got his first deer on Uncle Bryan’s farm place.  Well, he somewhat changed his mind, because he is still the most fabulous cook.  He also took on some leadership roles with his faith this year – just like you did near the end of your story. Erin still continues to grow and mature, and we have seen her take a stand (even among friends) to do the right thing.  You would have been proud.  And Cloie, she misses you beyond her years.  She really wishes that you could send her a letter from heaven, but she comforts herself with stories about you and your adventures.  Those stories have become a part of her identity and while on vacation, she told one about “remember when” and she wasn’t even a year old when it occurred.  But we have told it enough that she knew exactly when and where it happened; so now it is a part of her story.

I just wanted you to know that we are celebrating your 17th birthday today, and Cloie will be sending you a letter on her balloons.  Even though we are bracing ourselves for the other firsts of your senior year, we are almost daily comforted by the fact that your story (well God’s and your story) continue to transform lives. 

And that, my son, is a story well-written!

Loving you until we see you again – Mom